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Stories From The Handlers
This is an anything goes, stories about the TWF forum. Let the world know about your personal favorite moment in the TWF, your lowest, your favorites, your least favorites, ANYTHING! If you wish to contribute, just e-mail chriscfgb@hotmail.com - and it will be added within a matter of days.
| Contributor: Donald McKee I'm sure that many will do this, but I just wanted to take the opportunity to THANK all the great handlers I've gotten to know thanks to the TWF over the past years. So first off- THANK YOU. The experience of the TWF was unlike any other, and it was great to meet the handlers themselves and not just their characters. And now, I will go more in depth on a few of the handlers I would like to specially thank and why... Don Jones - What isn't there to thank Don for? THE best fed head ever. Period. He always encouraged handlers to keep trying even if they were having a hard time. Also was one of the best roleplayers in the history of roleplaying. Always stressed peace on the OOC board... something that was a rarity in e-feds. Thanks, Don. Chris F-B - With Don being THE fed head, Chris has to be THE VP of all-time. In addition to to being punctual with updates, he was also the brilliance behind Racky... one of my favorite characters and definitely one of my favorite characters to have OutKast go up against. Always had words of encouragement as well. Bryon Frazier - I met Bryon when I joined up in CWA North West. Bryon is a very cool guy and he was a top-notch roleplayer. I first witnessed him roleplaying as "LIVE" and he was very good as well as entertaining. Then I saw his character HIM, who was absolutely hilarious. Yet again, another person who helped motivate others. Steve DeArdo - Steve is another really cool guy. His character "Panther" was the first person OutKast ever teamed up with. They also formed a stable together. Steve is a talented roleplayer who always gave his best effort. Bill Gilman - One of the first people to get me into e-fedding in the first place. Also a really funny person and very talented roleplayer, as is evident by past characters such as Johnny Carteris, Dan Sweeny, and Paul Leonard. Gary Holmes - The thing I remember the most about Gary is when there would be a group of us in the chat room late at night and Gary had a radio show. I'd tune in and get him to do shout outs and stuff. It was pretty cool to me, but I'm sure it must have been annoying at times now that I think about it. Jackylfan is yet another TWF legend. I love the writing style of the roleplays, even if I can't always understand what is being said. :) Gary was also a good fed-head, and like the others he did a good job keeping everyone happy. Gord Perry - A very good fed-head and roleplayer. Some of my most memorable matches came against Barry Savage. I don't know if you remember or not, Gord, but OutKast still has a "TXO Inc." brand thanks to Savage. Gord was another who never hesitated to encourage the handlers. Travis Martin - Travis is another good friend that I got to meet through the TWF. He is a talented roleplayer and I was also looking out for the next Jade Diamond roleplay. Very entertaining writer and a cool guy. Jim Moloney - I remember reading Lobo & Odin roleplays back in the day. That was some good stuff. Reading them inspired me even more to write my own roleplays. Another in a long line of very talented writers. Everyone else - ...for making it such an enjoyable experience. Dex, Haggar, Anthony Davis, Brodie, Darrel Anderson, Paul Skallas (sp?), Jimmy Gribben, Perk, Robb Tracy, Bob, Jim Harper, and everyone. THANK YOU ALL. |
| Contributor: Dustin Iler In January of 2002 I went off to college, joining my best friend and girlfriend Danielle at CSU Chico. The morning I left I cut a check (the thirty bucks I owed him) to my best friend and next door neighbor Bobby Meyer, who had sat up numerous nights commentating on WWF (now WWE) shows and playing through the ridiculous angles of the Playstation 1 Smackdown! 2. I played a character named Dustin Iler, oh, and we talked about how ridiculous it would be if his finishing move was a stomp to the hand. I survived my first semester and that summer visited Bobby, playing one last game of Smackdown! 2 before he moved to Phoenix, Arizona for school. I came back to Chico, and we kept in touch. One day, a couple of months after he’d moved to Phoenix, Bobby gave me a call and said he’d met this interesting fellow who, while performing as the lead singer of his band, showed clips from wrestling matches behind him. Bobby said that he began talking to Brody, handler of Destructo, about wrestling, music, and life in Phoenix. Brody introduced Bobby to an e-fed (what the hell is that? I asked? and received a link to the TWF) in which he was handling a character named Viking Fury. I said I was in if my finisher could be a stomp to the thumb. He said it could be anything I want. The Thumb Opposer Dustin Iler made his debut at the September 2002 Legends pay per view. I watched the drama in the ring and in the OOC board and tried to weave my way through it as I still do, seeing only talented young writers with a passion for wrestling, with a need to tell a story, and a determination to tell that story their way. Bobby and Brody stopped for a while, we’ll call them contractual disagreements. I couldn’t stop. I felt like I wasn’t being loyal to my friends, but this game had taken me in. I was reading archived cards that I had nothing to do with. I didn’t even know who half the characters were. Then The Thumb Opposer started feuding with Barry Savage, handled by Gord–and that was only the first in a series of great feuds I would be involved in in Tennessee. The feud stretched into 2003, and I was International Champ, working my way up to the World Title, looking at the Gauntlet, but Don Gotti showed up, wowed everyone, and took the titles, including the International. Don Jones left and Gord was in charge. I wondered how I would fare against someone I had intensely been feuding with. For a moment my faith in the TWF faltered. But what do you know, Gord was more than willing to keep booking me in the main event, was willing to give me a World Title Shot, and I was determined to show him that those wins I’d achieved over Barry Savage were deserved. I won the TWF World Title at the Fatality pay per view. I don’t know how it felt to others who held that Title. I remember thinking that I deserved to win it off of Gotti. I deserved to end his winning streak. I though about how he’d come in and blown everyone away and was a champion within a month. I thought about how I came in and worked my way up over the last six months. About how that was more like an actual wrestling career. I thought that it was also similar (of course abbreviated) to a wrestling career in the sense that this was my shot to wow them. I felt I had to win the title, and I did. The feeling was of achievement, but for what, an imaginary title in an imaginary fed won by a caricature of myself? A belt of no actual value. A belt that was imaginary. And that was it, an imagined belt–agreed upon and bound to an abstract existence by the shaky rules of this game. The achievement was in the fact that every handler on the site, every guy I bickered with and insulted in character, agreed that the Title I held was the TWF World Title. They didn’t have to like it. They didn’t have to agree that I deserved it, but they agreed that I was the Champion for that moment. In that moment I realized that this game was no less real than the fake wrestling we grew up with at the fairgrounds and on the television. That was all angles, booked, based on the talent of telling a story with one’s body. But this game was more. I stopped watching wrestling shortly after I started playing this game, because this game was better, was more real, because guys from across the country, from across the world, could get together and tell a story, one big story, and agree on all the climaxes. I ran with that title for a good two months, I beat Gotti again, but by that time a masked wrestler had arrived, going by Thirteen. A certain fellow named Travis Martin had recently asked me to come over to the NEW Super Junior Tournament...I was obligated to, I was the World Champion. Oh, and Gord had chosen me to represent the TWF. I didn’t think that Thirteen could be Travis...that would be to large of a conspiracy, and who would conspire against me over an imaginary title? I went to the Super Junior, and I won, representing the TWF, feeling that I had earned my place as a champion of that fed which was synonymous with the best e-fed on the Internet. But Thirteen was still waiting for me in the TWF. I was supposed to guess who he was. But I really wasn’t, Thirteen’s handler wanted it to be a mystery, and he wanted a World Title Shot...oh and he hadn’t contacted me about this angle. It was figure out the solid clues he’d left me: a feud with Paul Leonard, a missed chance for greatness, a long title reign, a place in the top twenty TWF Superstars as voted on by the stars...I did what I’d done when I first entered, I read the archives. At first I thought Thirteen was Sigmund Chaltry, handled by William Ragne. Then the pieces began to fall together when Jade Diamond and Ragne gave some predictions for the Super Junior Tournament, saying that Iler would take it. No one but someone who felt the same reality in holding a TWF Title, an imaginary Title, as I felt when holding the World Title, would go through with a real life conspiracy to get the TWF World Title. But I still thought it was Ragne, I thought he was using Travis Martin, the poor sucker. I thought he was trying to throw me off. The archives showed the truth. Feud with Paul Leonard Involving A Steel Baseball Bat... Longest Reigning Television Champion... Number Thirteen on the list of TWF Superstars... Jade Diamond, handled by Travis Martin, handled by the guy who asked me over to the Super Junior Tournament, which I won. I began to doubt the win...did Martin just put me over to put Jade over in the greatest angle I’d ever seen or heard of in the TWF...possibly the greatest in all of e-fedding? And the doubt was what Martin, or Jade Diamond, wanted. Here was a handler who thought like me, who wrote similar to me. Hell, I was planning on having Dustin revealed as a certain masked wrestler I’d just introduced when this little mystery showed up. Did Travis have faith that I would figure out his mystery, or did he want me to miss it, just to show that Iler was not a thinking man’s wrestler, didn’t deserve the Super Junior Trophy, didn’t deserve the TWF World Title, the imagined weight of which I was beginning to feel drag me down. So I wrote of the roleplay, played my hand, if I was wrong about Thirteen being Jade Diamond then I’d lost. If I figured it out Travis Martin had handled this mystery like Edgar Allen Poe with an affinity for men in tights and wrestling rings. I’d lose either way, I knew it, but that didn’t bother me. It wasn’t that I felt I deserved to lose, it was that I felt Travis Martin, Jade Diamond, deserved to win, deserved to hold that Title that Gilman, Paul Leonard’s handler, had kept just out of his reach. He won, and it was a deserved win. I took a couple of weeks off and came back gunning for him but ended up in a nice little mid-card feud with Cam Ferguson, who handled him I unfortunately cannot recall. At the pay per view where Dustin beat Cam, I ended up Special reffing a rematch between Diamond and Leonard for the TWF World Title. I remember writing Gord and asking if I could declare myself the Champion, wisely, Gord did not reply. Then Leonard disappeared. Travis and I began writing emails to one another. This guy was sharp. His roleplays were solid. I understood how Bob and Perk and Don and Gary must have felt sending emails back and forth as this game dawned across the Internet. It turns out that Travis was going to resign after the Time Out Pay Per View, figuring that he would beat Dustin, that he didn’t need another hundred day run with a title more prestigious than the TV to secure his place in the Hall of Fame. I beat him. Travis decided to stay one more month, one more match. He was going into the Hall of Fame, I was going to do all I could to get him there, because he deserved it. And he acknowledged that I deserved the Title. That was probably the greatest moment I’ve experienced in this game, when Travis said that the Legends match, the pay per view I debuted at as an opening match only a year before and was now the main event in, would be an “I Quit” Match. I wrote the match. Travis wanted us both to write it, but I really think he wanted me to since, if I remember correctly, he cut off all emails to me. The umbilical cord that birthed the greatest feud in my short e-fed career, also the greatest according to Travis in his time e-fedding, could hang me if I didn’t handle this match with the most dignity possible. I wanted to put Jade over, but he’d no show, he was going to lose, no matter what. He wanted out. I didn’t want the feud to end. This wasn’t a competition anymore, this was a friendship, this was a relationship. I won the match and Jade went into the Hall of Fame. Feuds came after that, and I hope to tell those stories on here soon, but the feud and friendship I’ve built with Travis Martin is what the Tennessee Wrestling Federation, and ultimately all of Internet Wrestling, should be about. The TWF isn’t dead, no, it can never die, even if the site is torn down, the Addy lost for all time. No, the TWF is not dead so long as the friendships we built through feuds, through imaginary titles that come to mean more than the titles the “real” wrestlers carry, and the stories we tell together, across nations and continents, culminating in one final drop–one final win. SPECIAL ADDED BONUS MATERIAL FROM CHRIS Dustin insisted I include this part with the story.... Portion taken from an exchange of e-mails. E-mail from Chris... "For what it's worth, I do recall when you signed up Don sent me an e-mail... He said the whole idea of the Thumb Opposer and your character REEKED of someone who was a vet (even though you were saying you were a rookie) - and he was determined to find out who was handling the character. So he sent me off on my usual wild goose chase with IP addresses and what not and I had to come back and tell him I hadn't the faintest idea who you were, if you weren't in fact Dustin Iler. He was shocked, because you had the TWF figured out from day 1." E-mail from Dustin... "Thanks a lot, that means a lot to me. Maybe that could be a footnote or something, because that is a real honor to have Don think I was a veteran handler." |
| Contributor: Bryon Frazier I left the FWF in early 2000 because I was tired of writing for length rather than creativity. The plan at the time was to call it quits and leave e-wrestling forever. That lasted about 3 months before my friend Paul Skallas asked me to reconsider. He wanted to start a tag team, something we'd never done before, in a new fed. After some deliberation, that new fed was TCWF, the latest incarnation of the venerable TWF. That was when we created the Wakkos, HIM and Lord Byron III. Now, I don't know it for a fact, but I suspect that Paul named his character Byron as a jab at me, which created some confusion amongst the front office. At the time, Chris F-B and Bill Gilman were running things and neither of them was aware that Paul and I were separate people. I suppose it didn't help that there was a separate "tag team application" so with Paul sending that in, it was easy to assume that he'd be handling both characters. The plan was simple, make them crazy. We were initially going for Hollywood-style crazy like from the movies "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" and "12 Monkeys", where there would always be a sense of humor to these mentally disturbed individuals. In fact, just like those movies, all of our roleplays took place inside an insane asylum. I believe that lasted until the creation of the CWA, which wasn't that long after our debut. Over time, my approach metamorphosed to the point that HIM had become a near carbon copy of Homer Simpson. With the opening of the CWA, Paul and I put the Wakkos on the back burner and brought our FWF characters into the CWA. I took Live (#65, Silver Division of the Heritage Awards) to the CWA Northwest which was run by William "Bill" "Billiam" "Billy" "Will" Gilman. I got started on the right foot when I won the Northwest Title, but sadly did not land the World Title shot against the touring JackylFan, which was one of my favorite ideas in e-wrestling. I mean, who wouldn't want to have JackylFan making periodic stops in their neck of the woods? That applies to all fields, not just wrestling, but I digress. The first Interfed PPV involving all the CWA feds was truly a spectacle. It still stands as the best card I'd ever been a part of. The highlight was Brian Allen's surprise win of the World Title using a series of RPs that were a parody of the movie Braveheart. I considered him a friend so I was happy for him. It didn't hurt that Paul and I won the CWA Tag Titles (another umbrella championship) at that event as well, but for the life of me I can't remember what ever came of that. Of course, it'd be wrong of me to not mention that at that point, the World Title and Tag Titles were all in the hands of not just FWF alumni, but three guys who joined the FWF at the same time and got our start as a part of the same stable. I'm honestly not trying to imply anything, I just thought it was an interesting coincidence. Moving on, the next Interfed PPV wasn't quite as fantastic. It was handled by the infamous Jim Harper, and it showed. Harper and his character the Big Red Scare were all over the card. Essentially, the entire card was treated as a personal send-off for Harper, at the expense of the entire CWA roster. To say the least, there weren't too many who appreciated it. Probably the next big development for me was the closing of CWA Northwest. At the time, the most prolific branch of the CWA was Texas, run by Gord Perry, so that was where I fled. It didn't take long for me to not like my stay. Losing to Beld Painkiller and InKarnate twice each will do that to you. Regardless of my shortcomings, the newly appointed prez Bill Gilman (wink wink) saw fit to give me Texas' World Title shot against Dr. Midnight, despite the fact that since my move there I had done nothing to deserve it. That is the textbook definition of political maneuvering, and one of the few instances in which I actually did something so underhanded. It really wasn't as bad as it would seem. The truth was that Bill was going to give me the Northwest (at that point known as Continental) shot at the CWA World Title, but he closed it before that could happen. Therefore, once we were both a part of Texas, he decided to keep his word, and I do admire him for that. If the roles had been reversed, and he'd been dogging it as badly as I had been, there's no way he'd ever get that title shot. I lost the roleplaying battle against Dr. Midnight, but I won the match and the World Title anyway due to the worst example of front office ineptitude on the part of then-CWA Commissioner Daniel Roach, who named me the winner despite the fact that I had quit the fed the night before the results came out. He claimed that it was a mistake on his part, but insisted on upholding the result of the match. So of course I graciously returned in order to unsucessfully defend my title, not that it meant much because by then the CWA was dying. Shortly thereafter Daniel Roach passed the reins on to Pat "McNasty" McNash, the previous head of CWA Midwest in which he himself was handling the flagship titleholder. Needless to say, the CWA was dead not much later, or maybe it wasn't. I can't really say because I was long gone once I'd lost the belt. The CWA debacle had gotten so bad that Don chose to completely sever ties and restart the TWF as a separate entity, although revisionist history says that there was no period in which both the CWA and TWF existed, but we all know the truth. The rebirth of the TWF also brought the return of the Wakkos (#3, Platinum Division). Lord Byron III and HIM (#19, Platinum Division) finally began to reach their full potential. It was around this time that we began our feud with the legendary ThinkTank over the TWF Tag Titles. This was without a doubt the pinnacle of tag wrestling for me. Roleplaying against Gary and Robb was like a chess match. It was all "move" and "counter-move" just in order to keep up with those guys. It took a lot of work, but we lucked our way into the Tag Titles. About two weeks later we had to defend against the ThinkTank, and we decided to put in a serious effort in order to outperform the best. We chose to blatantly rip off "Tough Enough" with "Are You Wakko Enough?" in which 6 newbies tried to join the TWF ranks. Despite the uninspired premise, we went all out on this one. We planned everything out before we even began writing the first roleplay. To top it off, we even set up a DVD release (in roleplay form, of course) which included deleted scenes that served as the final offering of new material for that match. The result from all this hard work? Another loss to the ThinkTank. To top it off, during this time Don had been releasing the final scores for each card, and I was constantly taking it on the chin that I was the lowest scoring participant in these matches against the Tank. Now, I'll admit that I have quite an ego when it comes to my material, but even with my best effort to put that aside I still find it hard to believe that I never once outscored Paul, Gary, or Robb in any of our matches. Not one. Moving on, eventually we were able to conquer the Tank with our most incomprehensible series of roleplays ever. To be honest, I can't remember Paul's too well, but I do remember that HIM was travelling around with a Clint Eastwood lookalike bounty hunter as they were trying to find LB3 before eventually meeting the Ultimate Wakko inside of a mountain. Nevertheless, it did the trick as we outscored the ThinkTank (I was once again the bottom man) en route to the Tag Titles. We didn't hold those belts long that time either, and it was around this time that we chose to go solo. Lord Byron III was soon getting a World Title shot against, you guessed it, JackylFan while I was competing for the Tennessee Title. Again, my ego got the best of me and I started to fade away again and thus I spent the second half of 2001 back in the FWF. I returned in the summer of 2002 as a participant in the Tennessee Rumble. Gary was now the decision-maker which was quite the blessing because he always seemed to love my work. Even so, it was still the biggest stunner to me that I won the Rumble. I took Mr. Holmes's check for $25 with a smile and even made a commemorative webpage about it, found here. What followed that victory was without a doubt my favorite stetch as a singles competitor in e-wrestling. For the first time that I could remember, I truly enjoyed roleplaying. Also, the points system meant that part of the game was writing replies, which I considered myself to be a master. Of course, it didn't hurt that I once wrote one such reply to Gary in an instant messenger conversation and he approved of it so much that he suggested I post it on the points board so that he could give me a BINGO! for it. I won the International Title from Adam Young, but unlike before I was actually content to hold a sublevel title. I had even set goals: 1 month, 2 months, 100 days, 200 days, and finally the full year. I cruised through those first 2 goals, and even picked up the fictitious Charisma Championship from then-dubbed "Sugar" Shawn Malis while also stealing the nickname "the Draw" from Jade Diamond (who still owes me a feud). Sadly for me, after 63 days as International Champ, Don made his triumphant return and decided to strip all the titles. That was essentially the end of HIM. I tried to return a few months later, only to lose a handful of matches to El Qasr Sahli Casbah. I was always bothered by that because I felt like that character was created entirely on the built-in heat stemming from the World Trade Center attacks and subsequent wars. I mean, I understand the desire for cheap heat, but that doesn't change the fact that it is indeed cheap and should've been treated as such. So yeah, I didn't like the El Qasr character (no problems with the handler) and losing to him killed my spirit a second time that year. I tried one more return as HIM last summer, this time with Gord Perry at the helm. Simply put, everything was going fine until I lost to Adam Young. As usual, my ego came out and said "That's it, Bryon. It's time to retire HIM," and I agreed. I'd like to write more about that stint but not much else happened and I really don't think much more needs to be said in order for my position to be understood. Anyway, the retirement of HIM wasn't the absolute end of me in the TWF. I did take one last plunge into the Gord Perry experience, this time Paul and I discreetly joined as two brand new characters, Porter Hall and Eugene Smith respectively. About the only thing that ever amounted from this was when Travis Martin suspected that I was behind it after I made a joke about Jade being gay. We went out with a wimper after we lost to a tag team that featured Adam Young and that was officially the end of my participation in any fed run by Gord. Nothing against Gord personally, but I'm of the mind that any person who would choose Adam Young to win a match over me is not someone I want to work under. Well, that's it. That's my entire story of involvement in the TWF lineage. I realize that not everything is going to endear me to people, especially a few individuals in particular, but I wanted to be honest with my opinions of things rather than just sugar-coating everything. Also I'd like to note that I'll be the first to admit that I don't have a great memory. If I forgot something significant or misrepresented something or someone then please feel free to scream at me in any medium that makes you comfortable. |
| Contributor: Donald McKee One of my fondest memories was at the end of 2001, the TWF had a contest with everyone in it. I *believe* it was something like a King of 2001 tournament (Chris, please edit the name if I have it wrong). Anyway, there were a lot of big names in it and one of the names I remember was Mike Haggar. We both were neck and neck throughout the week and when all was said and done, we tied for the crown. It was an honor to have been able to tie with such a magnificent talent. I'll never forget it because that was probably the most inspired I have ever felt while roleplaying was during that week. And it is majorly due to reading Mike Haggar's roleplays. They were so entertaining that I couldn't help but write and post my my own. In addition to being the most inspired, it was probably the most fun I had during a given week, also. |
| Contributor: Sean McClure RAMBLINGS Submitted by Sean McClure aka Jack Bone, HPD, Havok, and several others as time went on. It was no secret that I felt a dark sense of doom walking into the TWF. I had held every championship in BTW at one time or the other and beaten (and lost to) probably every "big name at the time" at least once or twice. Some people respected or more likely despised me for that. There did not seem to be a happy medium between love or hate for my character. My biggest accomplishment was when I won the WWC 7 Championship. That literally took alot out of me creatively and I needed a large break from the e-fedding crowd. I tried being the BTW prez, I tried other names in other feds, but ultimately I contacted Don about entering the TWF as Jack once again. Sure, I held a few titles here but never really felt like I fit in to the TWF style. I had a large impact on how BTW's direction but I could feel the hardship of adjustment to the TWF kicking in and after holding a few titles, losing in one or two World Championship matches I retired again. My style was always as a storyteller, always as an "intelligent entertainer" so to speak. It was important to me that, no matter what, I would continue to evolve my character and push the limits of what people expected. The whole Jack/Jared angle was a milestone for me and I truly think for the e-fed community. I am not saying that I was a revolutionary or it was the best angle ever (it was not even close) but I felt that what I did was give a continuous and twisting story line for one whole year that really flowed together and culminated at the WWC 7 tournament very smoothly. I think it influenced alot of newer guys and resparked alot of the veterans in the community to push their games harder. I came to the TWF after the Jack/Jared storyline and found that I could not RP like I usually do. I wasn't into trash talking style roleplaying or the monolgue style roleplaying and it hurt my chances for the World title. One thing Don, Chris, and the others did that was genius was to implement the replies point system. This allowed people like myself, Jade Diamond (World Class e-fedder by the way), and others a chance to continue to roleplay normally and then trash talk on the side. Genius, genius, genius.....they were purty smarrrttt on that one. Mega kudos to the TWF fed-heads for that one. I can't think of a better person or more accomodating one than Don was. Chris was a real close second on this so FG-Brown don't hunt me down. Don was always the one that would work with you no matter what and no matter how hard you fought it, he would help you. For example: Myself and a few others were Epic roleplayers (storytellers) and Don was having to judge storyteller roleplayers against direct talker roleplayers. Unable to come up with a truly fair system since he loved both styles he came up with a belt just for the storytellers. Unbelievable. The Southern States Title was invented and fought over for a long while. I have fond memories of those battles. My favorite TWF memory was winning the Tennessee Title. It was the belt just under the World title and I roleplayed like a freak to get it. I was very proud of that win and very proud to wear it as long as I did. Some of the people I enjoyed competing with or gotten better by roleplaying against (in no order) : MOX - Awesome DESTRUCTO - Great matches man. JADE DIAMOND - My friend and dream tag partner. DAVE DEXTER - Truly one of the best ever in any fed and was one of my first mentors. (LD Dawson still makes me laugh harder than anything else in e-fedding has) HBM - One of the greats and my eternal nemesis. BELD PAINKILLER - One of my first but not last blood feuds. MARCUS T - One of the most dedicated e-fedders around and a really nice guy. OUTKAST - I still remember those matches man. BAM BAM BUZZA - A friend and a very fun and creative Aussie. Good day mate! DISCO STU - Guy was always up for anything, any angle. DR. MIDNIGHT - I always felt like you were Don's fave. One of the best. JACKYLFAN - Mr. TWF. When I did win against you it meant alot...of course it meant you were going to beat me the next time, too. MATT MOON - Just an awesome guy. AARON CHRISTOPHER - Inspired and motivated. MCNASTY - MCGoodRoleplayerguy There are literally too many to name. Thanks TWF for all of the years and great times. Sean McClure Eternal TWF Mark |
| Contributor: Marcus T I remember when I first heard of TWF back when I was in IWA, I paid them no mind cause I thought at that moment no one was better than IWA. I always heard of them threw Harper Hodgepodge and he use to just hype them up like never before. Always telling everyone how good they are and blah blah blah. So when WWC came around I already had a hidden agenda against them, I never knew how well the role plays where written over there. At WWC I caused all kinds of OOC problems and like always I was given the boot from the tournament. A week or so later I had my frist interview on the hodgepodge and really showed my age. He gave me some last words to say at the end of the interview and I ended up with a curse laced rant about how crappy TWF was. To fuel the flames even more I hated the fact that they were PG - 13 that probably ticked me off more than anything else. Over at IWA we just ran wild, we cursed like sailors, role play 24 hours a day, ooc feuded until there were was tomorrow IWA was just an insane asylum so when they shut their doors I was mad. After all of that I did ended up in the TWF and to be honest it help me more than it hurt me. Without all the cursing and rebellion against Don J or who ever was head man, I learn how to really role play. It was a challenge I never met before, role playing without cursing basically made me reinvent my entire character and what he was all about and made me think before I spoke, in short it made me grow up. Instead of just trying to be funny and come up with something stupid to say I actually had something to say in a role play. The only thing I ever hated was that me and Beld never got to feud in this place, but, I still had Dustin and outside of Beld that is probably the only feud that has fed my appetite for competing. |
| Contributor: The Hardcore Wackyass I have played this game in a lot of different places, but all my best and favorite work has been in Tennessee. I could go into all the different characters I used here, and we had many fun stories with them, but we all know who brought me to the dance. Under the name "Des" alone, I had several gimmicks... old school Destructo, the Arizona outlaw named Sidewinder Johnny, the twisted tutu-wearing Mr. Sunshine, and the suit-wearing executive Des Stohler. It's that last role I've finally settled into, as Don has been generous enough to give his blessing to DCW in regards to carrying on the legacy and lineage of the original TWF titles. History was always a very important thing to me in this game. I held five simultaneous World titles, but that even wasn't as big a deal to me as just getting the lineages of the dying feds running just long enough to transfer the momentum into a new fed. I also loved aiding other people in their angles and writing shows, so I went from fed to fed as I was needed (before wearing out my welcome, of course). I wandered here and there, but I always came home to Tennessee. One need look no further than this site to see all the names I wish to pay tribute to. They're in these stories, they're in the TWF history, they're in the Hall of Fame, they're in the Heritage awards. If I thanked every single person that I enjoyed working directly with or alongside of, the document would be longer than one of the pay-per-view writeups! I really enjoyed every minute of my work with the people here. This is where The Inner Circle, in all its incarnations, really met its potential. This is where Des and his many-branched family tree was cut down when I revealed the first five years as "all just a storyline to sell advertisement time," and returned the character to his roots... one man with many plans, his allies and enemies changing to suit his agenda. No more brothers and sister, no more cousins and college roomates, no more Stohler Family Christmas specials... just the blue jeans, black boots, bald head, and steel chair. Soon, the steel chair fell by the wayside and the REAL sneak attack was backroom wheeling and dealing for title shots and executive positions. This is when the lines REALLY became blurred, and angles became out of character controversies. I rubbed people the wrong way, and I really let them ruffle my feathers! But no regrets, and by this point, I hope no more hard feelings, either. Some of my favorite angles, besides the one I mention above, both main event plot twists and subtle b-roll storylines... - Dickie Wreenkle loses a cage match to Des in the IWA... is so impressed, he introduces Des to Don Haney. - Destructo tries to save Jack Bone from himself. Fails. - A temporarily immobile Des bosses around OutKast and his family. - An obsessed Zed stalks Panther's wife... redeems himself and becomes the godfather of the baby that he thought was his! - Jobber Tojo Saito becomes the electrifying Great Tojo. - The formation of The Matt Foster Army, which signs Big Red Scare and a masked sensation named Arnold I. Dunn. - Destructo takes advantage of a psychotic episode by The Dirty Bird and turns loose Andeerson's alter ego, Raymond "Frostbringer" Snow as a henchman for Stohler Entertainment. - Destructo introduces the TWF to Viking Fury, who in turn introduces The Thumb Opposer (not so much an angle as a sernedipitous turn of real life events) - Destructo ressurects the presumed dead Tulip Givens under his "real name," The Unsinkable Mr. Julian (neccessitating the introduction of "The Original Tulip Givens," the jobber we know and love today. - Des and Mack Tharp's late night bull sessions. - Adam Young inadvertently sets into the motion the return and rise to power of the disgraced Des Stohler, who starts the year banished from Tennesse... and ends up as executor of the last TWF World Title match (not only a storyline, but how it turned out for me in real life) That's just a sampling. I've been reading the archives this week, and being impressed by angles for the first time all over again, having forgotten writing or participating in them! Of course, this is only one opinion filtered through one man's ego. I haven't even scratched the surface of what went on in Tennessee. The only reason my story means anything is because it took place alongside so many great stories by my fellow writers, the guys I was writing for in the first place (what's the point in trying to craft a master angle when there's no one to read it?). This is a glimpse into one fan's memories. I hope I created some memories for the rest of you. Not ones you want to suppress, either (ha ha). I'm looking forward to reading all of yours, and re-living the ones you created for me. |
| Contributor: Paul Skallas Some of the most memorable moments for me in TWF/CWA/TCWF and whatever else in order: 1. Jobbing Dan Sweeny to the entire CWA Canada roster, and the fans at intermission for not Rping for a match. Power feels good! 2. The first CWA ppv was incredible. The one with every region representing i think it was, we had such momentum as a fed that it was a shame to see it decline. The talent was overstretched, supporting what was it, 5 feds? That hurts the longevity of the project. But it was cool, i gotta admit that. 3. Jim Harper masturbating over CWA in its 2nd ppv. That was the worst cards i've ever read. I enjoyed when the FWF was making a mockery of Jim Harper,he's a scumbag. 4. Canadian Patriot. He sucked. 5. Yo Don, what is up with losing to the Thinktank when we had that awesome Are you Wakko enough material? You better have promised them the win beforehand, because if you were grading those RPs, we should've won, plain and simple. 6. Skank Mob. Never got it. 7. The thing with TWF is that in the begining, the fed kinda sucked. It was a more stable and consistent BTW, but it wasnt that good. When I joined it was a fun way to play, but as the fed got better and deeper in talent some of the old names would come back and they would absolutely suck. But because in the past they had success in TWF they were immediatly in the upper card, when they're rp's were embarassing compared to the other great stuff we had going on at the time. |
| Contributor: Anthony Davis Prologue Let me warn you...this isn't really a "story"…it's more like an epic novel! If I have ever insulted you or made you mad in the past, please, at the very least, read Chapter Six. Chapter One: Making My Way to Tennessee Up until the spring of 1998, I had been involved in e-feds were the results were completely simmed. Don't get me wrong, we RP'd in those feds, but they really only set-up the matches; the RP's had nothing to do with the outcome of the match. While this was fun, I didn't feel it was very fair. I mean why should I lose a match when my RP's were better than the guy I was facing? Or even worse, why should I lose when a guy doesn't even take the time to RP? So, I set out on a personal mission to find a federation where RPing was the main criteria in determining who won the match. Unlike most people who found the TWF through word of mouth, I'm really not quite sure how in the world I found the TWF. Trying to remember back, my guess would be that I found it on Yahoo! through their search engine because I didn't know anyone there when I first joined in March of 1998. And I'm still not quite sure what led me to choose the TWF over other federations (I did not start joining multiple RP federations until I had been successful in the TWF). I think there were two factors involved in leading me to the TWF over some of the other federations I eventually joined. First off, it was "smaller" than the other federations. Don't get me wrong, it had a decent sized roster. It just had more of a family feel to it…in the beginning, everything was done via email (we didn't have message boards)…it just felt more "personal" to get a TWF RP email in your box two or three times a day. Second factor, the ORANGE BACKGROUND! The page design was simple and to the point. You could find everything easily and all the links works. And personally, I've always thought that the time you spend working on your webpage is time that could be spent working on your shows. While other guys were busy making their pages look all fancy, Don Jones was busy putting out a surprise spot show (which again, showed up via email. Imagine checking your email and seeing "Surprise TWF House Show" in the subject line…always very cool!). One thing is for certain (and I am sure most, if not all, will agree)…once you started in Tennessee, you knew you had found something special. Chapter Two: Earning Your Keep One of my favorite aspects of the TWF was the fact that you had to earn your title shots. I had been in other feds (as I am sure many of you have) where a guy joins one week and the next week he's fighting for a title. Well, that did not go over in the TWF…you were either willing to put in your time and earn your shot or you hit the road. I must have had at least 20 matches under my belt before I even got a SHOT at winning the Cruiserweight title (the TWF still, to this day, had the deepest Cruiserweight roster I have ever seen). I don't think I won the title for another few matches….it was draw after draw with that darn Cobra Coyle! But I loved that aspect of the TWF. I loved it when supposed "big names" when come in, talk a little trash to the current champs, and expect to get a title shot on the next show. If he wanted to progress an angle Don might give them the rare non-title shot…but even then you still had to be around for at least a few weeks before that was going to happen. It was more realistic that way…I mean how often does a guy in "real" wrestling get a shot at the champ a couple of weeks after first making his debut? Of course, after you got that initial shot and established yourself as a constant in the TWF, Don would reward you on a pretty regular basis. He was very good about sharing the wealth and judged every match very fairly. I don't have numbers to back this up, but I'd be willing to guess that if you were in the TWF for more than 3 months, you got a title shot at least once a month. You might not have won those matches, but at least you had the chance to… Chapter Three: TWF Reaches the "Big Time" I'm going to keep this chapter short, since we all know this little story. I remember when the TWF first entered the When World's Collide Tournaments. Not many people had heard about us because we were, in comparison, a pretty small fed. Heck, people might have even snickered at us (I could be wrong on that, but I know what they did during the last WWC tourney held in November of 2003). It was nice being the underdog, sliding in under the radar. I remember the "odds makers" giving me, and the rest of the TWF crew, virtually no chance at winning our matches. But then something happened…we won. At first they all wrote it off as a fluke: "There was some mistake with the judging", they said. "Oh, your opponent didn't have time to RP, you won't make it through to the next round", was another one of my favorites. It was great to see how the "elite" federations in what was to become our little "e-fed circle" began to take notice of the TWF. Suddenly we were being voted "Best E-Fed" in the circle and people were starting to join. The TWF began to grow larger than any of us could have possibly imagined…well, at least bigger than I ever possibly imagined. Chapter Four: "The Iceman" This is the part of my epic saga where I talk about my character, "The Iceman" Dylan Jones. As I looked over the e-fed landscape, I realized that there weren't a whole lot of "good guys" out there. So, I decided to create one. I wanted him to model WCW's Dean Malenko…very technical, very calculating, not much emotion, and a bit boring. Of course, the boring part was the trick because we all know that boring in e-fed equals losses. His RP's were always quite serious, reflecting on the issues that were bothering him or surrounding the TWF at the time. Very little humor was ever employed, which was quite the opposite of what most people were doing during that time (and still to this day, I suppose). Honestly, I'm not even sure if "The Iceman" character would have survived very long any place else. I'm sure my early RP's were a bit rough…I mean I only had a rough sketch of what I wanted this character to be and was feeling my way through it at first, testing the waters of where I wanted to go. But Don gave me the chance to do that and rewarded me for it, which in turn gave me motivation for running with it. I know I've said it before, but Don Jones deserves a lot of the credit for allowing me to be successful with "The Iceman". "The Iceman" is a special character to me because he's the only one of my characters, at least that I remember, that has ever held a World Title. In fact, "The Iceman" is by far and away my most successful character. 1998 was a great year for me…I mean to be named the TWF's first "Best Wrestler of the Year" was quite an honor…one that I honestly did not expect to get. I mean to be chosen by your peers, the guys you compete with…well, it was pretty special. After all, who would vote for me over the likes of Ric Justus, Lobo and Odin, Barry Savage, or my personal favorite, Dr. Midnight? Still, it was a great moment in my "e-fed career" and probably my most cherished accomplishment. Other guys can say that they were a TWF World Champion or are in the TWF Hall of Fame, but I'm the only guy who can say he was the first "Best Wrestler of the Year" and the first man to win all of the "original" TWF singles titles (although if Dr. Midnight, Ric Justus, or Barry Savage had been Cruiserweights, I'm sure one of them would have been able to make that claim instead of me). Chapter Five: Getting Screwed There have been two times in my TWF career where I have been screwed…both were in World Title matches. The first time was early on (well, we didn't have a World Title for the longest time so it wasn't THAT early) against Dr. Midnight. Now I don't remember the specifics of the RP's or even the match, but this I do remember: Big Perk simply handed me my butt on the RP board. I remember seeing his RP's and I replied with my best stuff, I mean I thought for sure that there is no way that Big Perk could possibly put out better stuff than what I was putting out….but then he did! I mean every time he fired out an RP, I just knew that I stood no chance. Although it never really blossomed into a feud (correct me if I am wrong, Big Perk), that was probably my favorite all-time competition. I still feel like I put out some of the best stuff I have ever written during that week, yet every time I read a Dr. Midnight RP I just KNEW it wasn't going to be enough. Now you have to understand, up until this point I had had a pretty good track record of knowing when I was going to win and when I was going to lose. But this was a shock…I won the match and retained the title, but I sure as heck didn't feel like the World Champion. The second time I was screwed was when I made a brief (maybe one month?) jaunt into the CWA or whatever it was called at the time. I was in the Atlantic Division and got in just in time to be entered in some kind of round robin tournament where the winner gets a World Title shot. Somehow I pulled it off and before I knew it I was facing Dave "Da Bomb" Dexter….a guy whose RP's I had read many times but had never had to face. In fact, I didn't want to face him because I knew there was no way I could hang with the guy! These thoughts were confirmed after I read his "Guatemala-mania" RP…an RP I wish I had saved because I swear it was the funniest thing I have ever read. It's sad that I don't remember the details of that RP…but it had something to do with a take on Old School 80's Hulk Hogan and a bunch of Guatemalans…a recipe for comedy gold if you ask me. Again, I go into the match thinking there is no way I could upset the Champion and take the title….but somehow I did. I wanted to get Dex an immediate rematch but something happened and that didn't go down. I didn't hold the title long…may have even lost it in the next match. To this day, I will never claim victory over Dr. Midnight or Dave Dexter…I lost those two matches, despite what the record books may say! Chapter Six: Falling from Grace and Things I Regret At one point in time, I was a respectable member of the TWF. My character was well received, Don allowed me to work with him behind the scenes with matches and what not (my official title was "Booker", although today I am not quite sure what my duties were…but you can bet that they were important, critical roles *lol*), and most the handlers and I talked on a regular basis via email or various instant messaging services (back then it was ICQ). But one day (or over the course of a few days), in my junior year of college (so that had to be either fall of 1999 or spring of 2000) that all changed (my timeline could be off). Those of you who "know" me know that I have a big mouth. I have a tendency to post on OOC boards without thinking (although sometimes my posts are just misinterpreted, in which case I probably should have worded the posts better). Anyway, I had always been a bit of a trouble maker in the IWA from the day I set foot there (ask Destructo and Marcus T for proof), but I was always on my best behavior on the TWF boards. Then one day that all fell apart…I don't even know what it was all about, who I was addressing, what I even said…but in the end I made myself look like a complete idiot, that I know. The only guy I really remember pissing off big time was Gord…but I am sure that there are others (Jim M. and Chris F-B also stick out in my mind for some reason, but I really only remember Gord and I going at it big time on the boards (and I may have been banned from the TWF at one point)). So, let me take this time to personally apologize to Gord because I honestly can't remember if I have done so already. Gord, please do accept my apology for whatever I might have said. I wish I could remember what the argument was all about so I could ask you to forgive specific issues, but I have forgotten. What I do remember is that I more than likely started it all, and for that I am not only sorry, but also ashamed. As I stated, I am sure there are many others out there that I might have pissed off, perhaps even Don. I hope all of you can forgive me as well. And if you would like, let me know if I pissed you off in the past so that I can make a more formal apology. I've made a lot of people mad in my career in this game…Destructo was the first one, Marcus T a close second. But I now consider both of those guys my friends. I hope those I offended in the TWF can overlook my past mistakes just as those two guys have. Of course, who could blame them if they don't? Certainly not me… So what else do I regret from my days in the TWF? I regret not sticking around longer. It would have been great to go up against the likes of Johnny Carteris, Dave Dexter, Jade Diamond, Frank Letters, The Think Tank, and The Thumb Opposer, just to name a few of the "legends" that have come after my time. I regret not working on more angles (I guess this kind of ties in to the previous regret). Aside from my brief feuds with Cobra Coyle and Bad Boy Brian Black, I didn't have an arch-nemesis. It would be nice to look back and remember the "epic battles" "The Iceman" and ????? had together. I regret not saying "thank you" every day to the guys who kept this fed up and running over the course of these past six years. The Fedhead position is often more of a chore than it is fun. It's tough reading the RP's and judging the RP's and writing the shows and making sure the angles flow together…not to mention the fact that you have to try to keep everyone happy! I'm sure I'll think of more in the days, weeks, months, and years to come. Hopefully this site will be around long enough for me to add to them when they do come to me! Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed my personal account of the TWF as much as I enjoyed the brief time I spent competing in it. ~AD~ Handler of "The Iceman" Dylan Jones and Dante "The Inferno" Jones Send questions, comments, or insults to: sublimedaddy@hotmail.com Make sure you mention the TWF in the subject line or your email might get deleted! |
| Contributor: Chris Fothergill-Brown Does anyone remember the Challenge Board? Please. Anyone who was here from the 1998-99 era MUST remember the Challenge Board. The idea was good. You issued challenges - and should the opponent want a piece, you two would fight. Issuing the dreaded Open Challenge could go either way… Either some useless jobber shmuck (Mantis, Rampage, and Da Gangsta - I am SO referring to you!) would jump all over the premise of having a match (and ultimately being humiliated), or you'd face the wrath of a top guy. There was no in between. I simply think of this because this was where I met Gary some 5 and a half years ago. He and Robb were cruising as tag-team champs. Week after week, they'd issue OPEN CHALLENGES to any tag-teams. Believe me, once upon a time, we were loaded. Dealers In Smack, High Flying Homies, Seminoles, Conquistadores, Lobo and Odin, Blade Runners, Heart and Soul (Midnight/Justus), Dic Doc (Midnight/Wreenkle), Trendkill, Wreckless Warriors…it goes on and on. I believe in early 1999 we may have had the deepest tag-team division in any e-fed from the "fed family" history. So, back to the initial point… So we had all these teams. The champs issuing open challenges. And who would answer? Well…Stanley Stanley and Silver Eagle. By default. Nobody would challenge them. Christ almighty, I was in a tag-team with Darrel Anderson (shoot me now!), and I was scared to death at even the thought of trying to RP against them.. NOBODY wanted to face them. They couldn't buy a match. So what became of this game of chicken? The Challenge Board died. Died like a fox. And all because nobody would give Gary and Robb the love. I hope you all remember that when you start questioning why you were losing 19 consecutive matches while he was in charge. UNINTENTIONAL HILARIOUS ROLEPLAY QUOTE OF THE MOMENT: (following an angry Adam Young promo that involved talks of sodomy, contract killing, Nazi goose stepping, and god knows what else…) *Adam dives into the pool* And speaking of Adam, his story is next! (And seriously, what's a "fued"? Is that just south-western drawl? "I'm hungry. I'm gonna get me some fued." I'm going to have a braineurism just thinking about it.) |
| Contributor: Adam Young Well first off let me start off by saying thanks to Don and Chris for allowing me to compete in the TWF in the first place. Now before I go into the fued maybe I should school some of the other handlers who mock Adam Young. Adam has been apart of the TWF in one form or another for almost four years and has held several titles in the TWF. Adam has held the TV, International, Hardcore/Extreme, Six Man, and Tag titles. I ran fueds with some of the greatest to ever compete in the TWF, Racky Wreenkle, Dickie Wreenkle, Barry Savage, Nikits Sputnik, Cam Fergueson, Max Steele, Skank Mob, and many others. The Fued Now most people in the TWF don't know the history behind the longest running fued in efeding, Aaron Christopher/Adam Young. This fued began back in the BTW when Aaron just happened into Adam's very first BTW World title match. We've had regular matches, hardcore matches, Dog pound matches, Evening gown matches, and just many backstage brawls. At one point in the fued Adam even had Aaron's band locked up in jail for interfereing in one of their matches. TWF is the place where the world got to see how crazy both of us could be towards one another. Sure Aaron had some success in the TWF but he never won what he could have. All-time Fav. Wrestlers 5.Dan Sweeney-Anyone who would have the Jewish mob and actually make it work is great in my book. 4.Darrel Anderson-In my early days in the CWA and TWF Darrel and I had a pretty good run against each other. He helped me grow. 3.Dickie Wreenkle-The man I won my first TWF title from, what can I say but just competeing against a legend like him was an honor. 2.Racky Wreenkle-We had a hot and cold run together. This man got me ready for the fued with Aaron. 1.Skank Mob-The last year of the TWF has been the Skanks against the BTJ's and what a ride it was. You guys made the BTJ name what it is today and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Final thought No sense of beating around the bush so here goes, Byron your worthless in my book. |
| Contributor: Gary Holmes You'll have to excuse me...I just went through Hurricane Charley and I have no power...except for my awesomeness that allows me to send this in without power. I drank half a bottle of Absinthe and half a bottle of scotch last night, so I'm doing well with two hours sleep, thanks for asking! Um...I started e-wrestling in 1996. Right in the thick of interesting wrestling on tv, just for reference. My recollection is a wee bit fuzzy at the moment, and no amount of nootropics can help that, but I'm giving it I've got cap'n with four synaptic gaps firing like squirrels on a four day acorn and meth smoothies bender. (Shut up, they exist...I've eaten them) Anyway, I started "chatting" with wrestling fans on message boards. One of them had factions...oh you're going to laugh at this. One faction started up and I was using the screen name "Vito" (#3 in all time Heritage feel good excitement awards) because everyone there was just a stereotype. So I was a fat Italian guy. Not for long though, but the name stuck. Mired in satire, my "career" in e-wrestling began. The faction? The "2 InCh HoSseS." I'll continue when you're finished laughing. I never found out what the hell that was supposed to mean. They were all ICP wannabes with an agenda to "take over the board." When things got out of control, someone suggested we take it to e-wrestling. Now put your arse in a seat, I'm going to go into detail here about things you want to know, things you need to know. Things that have been eating at you for years. Feed my ego. So I meet this guy named Doug in the 2 inch hosses and no, I won't ever type it that way again. Doug handled Dr. Fong, named after a character from Reboot. As Vito (#5 of all time in the "guys named Vito handled by Gary" poll) and Dr. Fong, we were the tag team contingent for the "hosses." Immediately, from our separate work that looked like we had collaborated, we recognized that we were probably the only intelligent life forms within the hosses. So, of course, at the first opportunity we turned on them and established ourselves as the tag team in any fed we went to. There's something called the Rage Board around there somewhere, and that's where a lot of us met up to talk wrestling and discuss e-wrestling. That's where I met "The Real Deal" who in real life is Mikey(#1 on the "Guys Gary met named Mikey" awards). I used him a few times in different roles in my rps. Well, Mikey and I are still friends to this day because of e-wrestling, living only a mere 20 miles from one another. I took him to his first ECW show... Anyway, Doug and I would go blur the lines by posting IC stuff on the rage board. It confused some people, but we had fun chatting about it on irc. Thus began my interest in messing things up OOC style while remaining IC. Doug and I won the tag titles in 12 different feds, and never lost any of the titles. The feds would close before we lost. We closed down 12 feds that way...neat. One of the fed heads screwed up our turn on the hosses when we did that and it looked like we were still with them. I bitched the kid out for a few good hours. Later, in irc, he made the claim that he knew a way to make Jesse Ventura Governor by fudging votes. We laughed at him like usual and thought nothing of it. Later that week, he pops in before the decision is announced and tells us he told us so. Weird. Eventually, after closing down all those feds, I ended up running one. Doug pulled an amazing trick on me. I was running the fed by going to the library, getting a card at Cyberplay and using their internet terminals...any way I could since I was on the road a lot back then. Well, I missed an e-mail Doug sent me about an angle and therefore it wasn't on the show. After the show was posted I pop into our irc room and he's not talking to me. For months he didn't talk to me and we used to call one another every week. he wouldn't take my calls, wouldn't chat...nothing. I dedicated shows to him, apologized constantly to no avail. Then, when I entered the fed after turning it over to someone else, his master plan was revealed. When Vito (#2 on the list of "Guys Britney would screw if she were into fictitious wrestlers") was being beat down by four guys, a masked wrestler hit the ring. He fought all of them off with a chain and pulled off the mask to reveal...another mask. Which was what Dr. Fong wore. I called him as soon as I read it and he said "I never sent you an e-mail." Bastard! Planned it for months, he did. Well, Doug was done with e-wrestling as real life called him away. I was in need of a tag team partner since I loved the team aspect of playing off each other. Enter Robb. At first, I kept Vito as a character but quickly chucked him for new ones. We came up with some lame stuff at first...there was Fat Free who was a fitness guru who always rhymed "Fat Free" in his promo somewhere, MARILYN hanson, the bastard kid of Manson and a Hanson, among many, many others. Finally, some arse on the boards rped as "RavenFan." At the time, I thought the slicker, better dressed Jackyl was the WWF's answer to Raven, so I introduced JackylFan. (#50000, Guys that Suck arse awards.) HST Gonzo (#1 on same list) was born in the heat of the moment (Yes, it's based on the author, thanks for pointing that out), and the ThinkTank was afloat. We always used OOC stuff in our rps and it pissed everyone off. Most people thought all Robb could do was make fun of OOC stuff when it was really me doing it, so we made fun of that. At the end of our tenure with the entire rage board guys, the many feds all became one, with Robb and I at the helm. They did it on a bet to see if we could handle it. We wrote a few shows, all of them bad, and set our eyes on the PPV...WrestleCruise! A boat? Sweet! So, Robb and I killed all of their characters by burning the boat and sailing off on the only little dingy they had, along with "The Real Deal." They were pissed, because that group was such a stickler for realism that they had to create new characters until they thought we weren't looking anymore, then made up ridiculous ways they survived. Now is a good time to tell you something...I hate angles. I was never good at writing them, coming up with them or what have you. Anyone that's been in one with me can tell you that. OOC stuff turned into angles? I do them in rps. That's just the way it's always been with me. I write rps, I write stories...that's it. Robb and I landed in the IWA after a Yahoo search. We brought in the Tank and saw how chaotic and raw it was there. OOC heat was actually encouraged. We had a field day there. We were always either the tag champs or fighting for them. It got so that we would intentionally lose the belts to get the motivation to rp again. We never knew what the rules were, but during my epic feud with HBM, I learned that roleplaying started when you challenged the person. So that's why I waited half a week to rp when the card was posted and we lost by a landslide... Jason was a hard guy to operate for. On one hand, he was available to the players, yet he never offered any advice as to what he was looking for, how he scored...nothing. He told me I was a tag wrestler and couldn't feud with HBM because HBM doesn't do tag wrestling. Pointing out the Four Skins being in tag matches didn't help my case, so we quit and spat upon the belts before doing it. Actually, I think we did more than that. But every time we came back, we were welcomed. I think we threw away the tag titles three times. Anyway, by this time Don and Dan had a match with us and walked away impressed, so he asked us to join the Tennessee fed he ran. We jumped at the chance to insult some more people, so off we went. What we found, however, changed how we saw and played this game forever. There was no OOC heat. None. It wasn't rewarded, encouraged or even tolerated. And much to our surprize, when someone liked our work, even our opponents, they told us. Shock of all shocks! Since the beginning people were telling us that we sucked and were no good. Sure, we beat them, but still they never told us that they liked our stuff. It was quite refreshing and after a little while, we got the hang of it. Of course, during this time I'd introduced Robb to Blackened VooDoo Lager, and he introduced me to Something Special. It's scotch. Moving on. We wanted a crack at the IWA again, but didn't want to use the Tank. Robb had already infiltrated their ranks with DV8, so I joined up as Facinorous. I went after HBM almost immediately. We were the Slayers of False Divinity, a mock of the position the champions held there. We won the tag straps again and joined up with a few others who though they could take things over with darker, less humor based characters. I remember Frank Letters was one of them as was Gravestone. We had most of the titles for a while I think. I could be wrong because I was drunk. Anyway, after an epic feud with HBM all over the boards, I lost to an angle where the Foreskins reunited. Of course I was told there would be no angle based outcome for this match, but there you go. You have to remember that I was assured of this by the guy who also told me that JF had no business going up against a singles wrestler. So after that and Gravey disappearing, we disbanded and I brought my story with Facinorous to an end that involved the real life Heather I was dating. I even had her write something about not knowing who she was sleeping with, JF or Facy. As always, I got ahead of myself. I used real life people in my roleplays all the time. I played off of what happened in an attempt to deal with it sometimes, others was just to make fun of it. Well, this got me into trouble more times than I can count. While I was dating Bronwyn aka MonkeyGurl, I ran into my at the time life love Heather, I called her that because it was still unrequited therefore true. Once you take that step together, more often than not, the love is rancid. Follow? So I used her in a few roleplays and she was a central character between Facinorous and JF, simply because I was dating someone else and my psyche was fractured between the girl I was with and the girl I secretly wanted to be with. Being the ass that her husband was, he found out about her and I talking and had her write me telling me she couldn't contact me anymore. Up until then, it was an innocent friendship. I used this to propel my efforts into the WWC-4. I was a last minute addition to the TWF roster, having split my time between a few feds and not paying attention to the WWC. I had been in one of them prior to this as a tag wrestler and we didn't fare too well. At least in my opinion. Secretly, I was also rping as Vito in the NSW at the time, and they were in the WWC. So I closed out Vito's story over there and used what I knew about the guys in Silver's line-up against them. I went to their OOC board and found out the trash they were talking about JF; seems they didn't think they should have lost to me. I took it to the WWC OOC board and just lambasted the fed. It was good times. I won the whole thing on a series of RPs where I made fun of Hamid, Des, Frank Letters among others. Then everyone was silent. No updates, no idea of when the results would be posted...nothing. Some time later, I heard talks about a secret meeting where they had to give me the title, but didn't want to. So then, with no card, no real results or anything, they posted that I won the title. No fanfare, no send off just a "here you go, now get out." A few months later they had WWC-5. To cleanse the stench I left behind perhaps? Back into the fray, I was now dating Heather and MonkeyGurl was gone. Robb was still dodging the Midget (who is a real person, real small that is), and the Tank was rolling. Until Robb moved to Michigan because he lost a bet plus thought himself safe from the wiles of the wee one. Wrong. Robb would become too busy to rp so sometimes I posted for him. Then Heather had to go away to a mental health facility, and I slowly went insane. My character reflected this. So, in a stroke of brilliance, I did an rp that made fun of the place Heather was at, plus included a few names I happened to pick up when calling her. So, being a genius, I mailed it to her. They read it first, then kicked her out of treatment, thus violating her parole (for something I coerced her to do years ago, long story), and sending her home in fear of having to go to prison. Over a roleplay. Because they said I knew too much about the people there, she must have breached the confidentiality clause. Not because I know about psychology and could guess people's particular afflictions, nope. Well, she didn't do any of this and didn't know about the rp. In fact, it wasn't until a few months ago that she even got to read it and I'm talking about 1999. So this sent me into a spiral spinning toward Satan's nether region. I even joined the BTW for my sins. I got screwed out of the tag titles over an angle that saw the ever so popular reluctant tag partners triumphing in the face of adversity. Although I was the only one posting for my team and forgot to tell anyone that. Oops. JF screwed JF. Let's flash forward a bit as this is getting long and those were dark times. I turned Heather into Rachael, so that I could close that out and still have use for the character later on, and wallowed for quite a while without Robb. Then I remember Don and Chris mentioning starting something different and new, the CWA. Here's the scoop for those out of the know: whenever whatever incarnation of the Tennessee fed closed down, I could expect an e-mail from Don within two weeks telling me about a new fed he was opening. It was funny, really. So the CWA was born. Around this time I started dating Alice and her Lard Bucket™, and was free of the dark times with H-Bomb, which is what Robb dubbed her. Also around this time, I started chatting with Bryon almost daily. His stunning tales of a guy who looks a lot like me spurred my notion that I have subconscious minions out doing my dark will unbeknown to me. Anyway, we would routinely discuss certain e-wrestlers and such, all the while I played the arrogant bastard, still. I simply thought that this was some ruse to get inside my head, so I kept up my guard somewhat around Bryon. I didn't need to, as I found out...we began to share secrets. One such exchange was when I had captured the CWA World Title and was to face Triple X. It was routine for Don to assuage the champ of each region by telling them the match was close when I beat them. Truth to tell, I could gage these things after a while, and Venom...my first opponent I think, came closest. Well, anyway, Trips was up next and by two days before deadline, he hadn't rped much. I asked him about it on AIM and he said he wasn't going to get much of a chance to write so he asked if I could lay low so that it wasn't a slaughter. I told him yes and went about my business. Then I hopped on to talk to Bryon and we agreed: something was up. So I went to his last rp, hosted off of geocities, and looked at the url. It said something to the effect of "TWF Goldppvrp3." So I just started adding in increments of one and revealed his next four rps, already done. He was going to ambush me. So I posted one of them for him. Then hopped back on AIM and Bryon and I had our way with him. By the end of our collaboration, Trips was going to quit after accepting his defeat. Bryon almost had him crying. It was beautiful...he'd have Trips say something stupid that I could use then posted it for me. I would then go pretend not to know about it and say something close to what he said, making him question whether or not I could read his mind. It was a lot of fun. Bryon and I did stuff like that a lot. He probably remembers more about it than I do, considering all the damage I've done to cranium over the years. Eventually, Robb even got into the "RPs get me into trouble" club, as I performed a wedding for H-Bomb's friend Gena. Robb used her in a roleplay saying she gave him sweet clown love, and her husband Greg found it in her cache. He thought it was a real account of things and of course, I got a phone call. I had to explain what rps were again, sheesh. My run as CWA champ was marred by the outcome of the ppv gauntlet thingy. I didn't pay attention to any of the competitors in that one, since I didn't know who I would face. Usually, my best work comes from inspiration of competition. Well, someone...I forget the name, bum rushed me with some excellent work whereas mine was just run of the mill considering I was in a lull. A quick run down some of the places I've rped from: 1. Diz-Knee world at an internet kiosk that I had to fool into working so that I could access any other site than a Diz-Knee one, on my anniversary. 2. Public Libraries. Many times. In fact, when I wasn't allowed to speak to H-Bomb, she found an rp I did on one of the stations. One of those weird occurrences... 3. Cyber-Cafes. Many of those, too, when I was traveling. I had to check in, I was the champ.:) 4. My phone. Once. It sucked. 5. Crack Whore's computer. While her kid cried in my lap. Fun. 6. Doctor's office. Don't ask. That ends part one. Next up, after I get power back, the rest of the story, the reason why Bryon never out scored me, the elusive myth behind "Bingo!!", why Chris, Don, Bryon, Paul and probably you are awesome, a dirty secret behind the Tank, Livejournal and you, JF's "death" plus a lot more rambling. |
| Contributor: Dave Dexter Dave Dexter presents… The (Final?) Brass Tax That clichéd title has always indicated that the bottom line is but one mouse-click away, so I figured what better place and time than here and now to deliver the authoritative account of my experiences in the Tennessee Wrestling Federation. Marriage, school, work, and life in general continue to tug me further and further away from this hobby of ours, so I wonder how many more opportunities I'll have like this. Consider this column/memoir/smoldering pile of pachyderm droppings as a time capsule, not solely for the enjoyment of those of us who were there, but for the benefit of e-fedding posterity. We, the TWF, were here, and a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, in this backwater corner of the e-wrestling universe, we mattered to quite a few. My stories, my memories, my opinions, all may be found within, as I bring to you, dear reader and faithful TWF fanatic, what may end up being the final installment of the Brass Tax. The Unborn Superstar It was a bitterly cold winter night and the full moon shone down on a gnarled, leafless woods… a woods through which no man had passed and lived to tell the tale… a woods that was said to be.. HAUNTED. Probably a thousand miles and totally disconnected from this woods, I sat at my computer, wasting my youth in the TWF chat room, concocting what was destined to be the most pervasive and enduring OOC joke from a small, recluse, Tennessee-based fantasy wrestling federation of all-time. Oh, you won't find it in the historical records or the show archives, but it forever changed the way all of us looked at e-wrestling… Through ultrasound. TWF was always known for being a hotbed of peculiar gimmicks, so the natural inclination for those of us who had such unnatural inclinations was to come up with something even more outrageous than the last retarded idea. In a moment of divine inspiration, utilizing the chatroom's nick-switching capabilities, I sired what was henceforth to be known as "The Fetus". The Fetus (also known as "The Foetus" and "fetus maximus") was to be an athletic prodigy so skilled that no professional wrestling title would be out of its reach, despite the fact that it hadn't been born. It (and I say it because the sex of The Fetus had yet to be determined - we in the TWF didn't want to spoil the surprise) would be transported to and from matches inside of a body-mother, and it would deliver blockbuster interviews consisting of kicks to the placenta and scintillating quotes such as, "….." And if I was the father of this monstrosity, Chris (Racky Wreenkle) and Bryon (HIM, Live) were the surrogate mothers; I believe we were going to ask Gary (JackylFan) to be the godfather as well. Together we nurtured the growth of The Fetus, and soon the little bundle of underdeveloped nerve endings was running rampant through the TWF chatroom, terrorizing unsuspecting victims who never imagined that a slimy, unborn human larva could ruin their e-fed chatting experience. Alas, despite all of its chatroom and OOC board appearances, The Fetus never made it onto a TWF card. Don Jones, phenomenal fedhead that he had always been, was also a staunch proponent of good, clean, family fun. He never would have allowed such a vulgar abomination to run amuck in his fed, so out of respect for the TWF's dedication to wholesome entertainment and the devoutly Christian beliefs of its founder, The Fetus was ironically aborted. We may never know how high up the ladder this superstar would have climbed had it seen its way into a third trimester. The world can only hope that the federal government will approve funding for stem cell research, so that perhaps one day, in the distant future, The Fetus can be cloned and revived in a petri dish. Jim Harper is a fudgepacker. It's finally time to set the record straight regarding my controversial feud with Jim "Nathan Lane's Personal Fluff-boi" Harper. Four years after the height of this heat, people still seem to be confused as to why I was forced to take a steaming dump on this guy's unibrow. Even more surprisingly, there are those out there who still respect the man to a degree and hold his blatantly-average work in some sort of esteem. The short bus stops here. Now, I've typed this whole story before and there still seems to be confusion to this day. Since this is supposed to be the TWF, in rawest form, going out in a bang and pulling no punches, I'm going to tell this little tale through the e-mails that narrated it. Here goes, beginning with a simple e-mail from Heartbreak Meyers asking about why there was friction between myself and Ed Thompson (Gravestone). From: "Brett Meyers" So.... what happened? Date: Thu, 16 Nov 2000 23:29:28 -0800 (PST) Hey HBM, It's good to see you back in the game man! I haven't gotten the chance to talk to you since you came back. Actually I told JR that if I'd known you were returning I might have tried to stick around for a Dex/HBM match, heh. Nah, I haven't had my A-game lately. Kinda been half-assing the last month/month and a half, and I was glad I dropped the title to a deserving guy like Perk because I had seriously considered jobbing it away. I've been going non-stop for over a year [with those long FWF RP's too] and I really need a break right now. Like I said, this is Ed thing is like a f***ing saga, so I'll try to summarize as best I can, but it'll probably end up being longer than your Crow/Laz story.. it's huge. This all started when FWF broke up into two divisions, Old School and New Wave, which basically worked like the American and National Leagues in baseball. Justin put me in charge of the Old School division as President and I ended up running a really successful fed for the 2 months until FWF reunited, getting a lot of good feedback from the guys. But I ran into a problem with Gravestone. He was the main heel in Old School and the FWF as a whole, but he went completely AWOL for several weeks without letting me know he'd be gone. Then I'm surfing around and I see a couple of his roleplays in CWA-Texas, while he hasn't posted a single roleplay for the FWF main event he was booked in. I figure Mister Ed is bailing out on us and leaving FWF high and dry, so as a "message" to him, I made him look less than great in his match. He didn't even lose clean (there was interference), but at several points in the match I'd say something like "Gravestone looks tired.. possibly because he used all his energy fighting jobbers like Triple X in Texas!" or "Gravestone just got knocked stupider than a Marcus T. book report!" S**t like that, but it wasn't just to antagonize him. I was trying to either get him roleplaying for FWF (even if it was about how much he hated me as a staff member) or if he wanted to RP in CWA and not FWF, then to get him out. Ed comes back and of course throws a little temper tantrum, and suddenly I'm a horrible roleplayer, fedhead, and person in his opinion.. quite a turnaround from his previous thoughts. So he walks out, and then Jim Harper comes on the OOC board and chimes in with his two cents, badmouthing Justin for letting that happen to his "buddy" Gravestone. I contacted Harper and Ed saying it wasn't a personal attack, just a kickstart of sorts; Harper doesn't respond but supposedly everything is kosher with Ed, as Justin and I even talked on the phone with him. But apparently Jim Harper still thinks Justin Goldman is Gary Brown, and he makes some really asinine remarks like "FWF is dead to him" and that "Justin stole FWF from Hamid". That's his opinion, he can have it I guess. Next thing I know, I'm browsing over Texas and see BRS interviews saying that Justin Goldman is Gary Brown (in character, which makes absolutely no sense), and then "shoot" interviews about how he's lost respect for me, etc. That's fine, but he keeps taking little potshots, so I take matters into my own hands. Beginning on the next Old School card I really start ripping into "FWF Texas" and having Desiree Goldman blast on the old guys who left FWF even though FWF made their careers. I also started up with a pro-FWF/anti-CWA gimmick in Canada to pour it on a little more. So that's how the whole FWF/CWA rivalry thing got heated up, with me, Harper, and Ed right in the center of it. Everything is fine and dandy, it's healthy competition and both feds are running angles (MOX saying he and a group of jobbers would invade FWF; Desiree purchasing Procter & Gamble, thus buying CWA)... Then I get my World Title shot. By now the rest of CWA is carrying on with anti-FWF stuff, so I figure why not step it up- the champ is Brent Kersh (former FWFer) and it's the perfect opportunity to get back at BRS with some wicked material, so I start using Jim Harper (the character- column writer, FWF commentator) in my roleplays. Now this is perfectly legal because when Harper left FWF for Texas the last time, he SPECIFICALLY gave the FWF his character, so we had full creative control of "Jim Harper"; it's just like me using Truth Master in an RP. I'm on FWF staff, the character belongs to me. Well I actually RP one time, and THEN, amazingly, Don steps down as commish and names Jim Harper as his replacement! Pretty convenient timing. I had already started a storyline now and wasn't breaking any CWA rules, so I went ahead and RPed again. Once I've done 2 RP's, JEREMY RILEY informs me that those 2 don't count and I'll have to do 4 whole new ones. Jim Harper said nothing, no warning, jack s**t. I e-mailed Don and Harper, and Harp was a b***h naturally, but Don wouldn't override his decision because he had given Harper full authority. Then Harper says that to be "fair", he'll be letting Don judge the World Title match, which would mean Don had some authority again, right? No, we can't be logical. He wouldn't overturn Harper's decision, so I still had to do 4 new RP's. I was pissed off, but I said f*** it, I wanna win, so I wrote Harper out of the storyline, ended up doing 6 RP's total that week to Kersh's 4, and I did trim the length a bit from my FWF style, but this was pretty good material. Pat was even saying to me on ICQ how I really stuck it to him. The end result - some B.S. finish/draw thing where the title was vacated. I was suprised, but fine. I have respect for Pat as a roleplayer and I *guess* I can handle a tie. Harper even e-mails me offering an "olive branch" and I reluctantly accept (since he is once again commissioner). Next up was the interfed PPV, with the World Title on the line: Dex vs. Kersh vs. Beld vs. Dylan Jones (AD) vs. Dirty Bird Darrel. Sweetness. I don't even know why I bothered to RP for this - Harper was judging and I knew right off the bat that win or lose on RP's, I wouldn't have the opportunity to win with him in charge - but I RPed anyway and I did some decent stuff, not my best, but at least comparable to what the others did, including one RP that stole the show (some Hulk Hogan parody about Guatemala, I dunno). ~AD~ seriously marked out for this and I was actually in the chatroom where a ton of people were saying that it was between "Dex or Kersh", "Dex or Dylan", etc. Everybody mentioned me, which says something to ME.... but not to Harper, I guess. Jones won, which is fine again because I respect ~AD~, but this was Harper's greatest moment. He had BRS and the Jim Harper character on commentary, and Dex was taken out during the match BY Jim Harper, who hit him with a shovel, saying "That one's for Gravestone!" or some s**t. 1) My CHARACTER never did anything to Gravestone, and 2) He put himself over all night, including putting his announcer character over someone who did 4 roleplays. Bad policy in my opinion and I e-mailed him and Don asking about the reasoning. What he told me was that my RP's were "too long and about nothing"... k. You've seen my RP's so I won't even elaborate on that, but then he says that Kersh didn't win, for example, because he was "too long and boring". AD roleplayed with almost the EXACT same style as Kersh. I shredded his argument in e-mail [I saved ALL these e-mails if you're really interested] but of course that accomplished nothing. Now I'm not an arrogant person at all and I have a ton of respect for both Pat Martin and Anthony Davis, but if I didn't RP well enough to win at least ONE of those two matches, then my name is Adam f'n Young. I mean he basically said to me in an e-mail that "I got what I deserved" and "I got burned by my own crap", meaning he blatantly screwed me. Nice. But he said one thing that backfired - he said he didn't care if FWF used Jim Harper on cards, and so I went ahead and took advantage of his stupidity. We've been humiliating the Jim Harper character ever since and he deserves every bit of it. So basically I hate Harper more than Gravestone, but Ed ties in because Harper did all this because Ed is his "buddy". Not long after, Ed comes out with his "Carved in Stone" column where he retires - but not before saying I'm a funny roleplayer, but that I can't run a fed, my RP's are too long, and I'm repetitive. This doesn't phase me because he's GRAVESTONE. But apparently he was retired and had returned to his worthless little life... FINALLY. Not so fast. It seems he's back in Texas, this time as "Dave Dexlow", passing OOC insults off as roleplays, and tag teaming with "Dex Davester", who just happens to have been hatched from the tiny brain of one Jim Harper. This is their latest brilliant plan to do absolutely nothing except demean themselves and I was actually laughing at how pathetic it was that they spent time on that just because they couldn't get over something that they thought I did to them in fantasy wrestling..hah. The OOC wars on the Canada and FWF boards [where my response is reposted because Cody erased it] started up because I insulted Extreme T by making reference to Ed, and he tried to comeback like the "American Badass" he is. So I put that old motherf***er in his place. He leads a sorry life and is a redundant, boring roleplayer, and he doesn't have room to talk down to anyone. And so that's the story with that old Ed guy. I considered writing a Brass Tax about the whole thing, but I didn't want to ruin the credibility of my column by putting that garbage in it. Anyhow, there it is bro.. haha. Consider my column's credibility ruined! Anyway, this e-mail to Brett was just one of many summaries of the situation that I had given people upon request. I feel as though I've been a fairly trustworthy individual as far as this game is concerned, but I intend to erase all doubt of the validity of my statements once and for all; you don't have to believe me, because as I said to HBM, I SAVED the e-mails between Jim Harper, Don Jones, and myself… maybe for my own personal amusement, or perhaps for just such as an occasion as this. Here are the correspondences, beginning at the point where I challenged Pat Martin ("The Enforcer" Brent Kersh) for his CWA World Championship. You should be able to gather some context and reference frame based on the content. Date: Tue, 19 Sep 2000 21:55:01 -0700 (PDT) When I got on ICQ Wednesday at 12:15 am, I received the following messages from Paul Skallas aka Jeremy Riley: "Dex I need to talk to you as soon as possible, please respond when your online" "dex, the rp's you did where you included Jim Harper are not going to count. He said he didn't give you permission and in fact gave you a warning to stop it. So I talked him into just making those rp's don't count. So if you want you can do a new set of rp's against kersh." Gentlemen, this is preposterous for several reasons… and here they are: 1) I received NO warnings from Jim Harper about the use of the "Jim Harper" character. I checked my dexdabomb@yahoo.com, fwfprez_2000@yahoo.com, and voodoouzi2@aol.com e-mails and NONE of them had one warning from Jim Harper. There was nothing posted on the CWA HQ board or on CWA Canada OOC. Either you got the Mailer-Deamon Jim, or I am calling you a liar. JR informs me that you spoke with Don about this, but Don and I never talked about the use of this character. I can forward any and all e-mails between Don and myself to reinforce these claims. We talked about not intentionally offending each other, Don's departure, and the fact that we are still friends. Period. 2) If Jim Harper was trying to contact me, he would have been able to. I used the "Jim Harper" character before roleplaying for the Pay-Per-View began. Jeremy Riley knew I was using him. I am guessing that Don knew I was using him, since Don is generally good at looking in on who will receive the next World Title shot, and Jim, I imagine you already knew, since we aren't on the best of terms.. I know I've been keeping up with the little BRS FWF-digs in your roleplays. Between the three of you, you knew and nothing was said... until now. At the moment Jim, I wouldn't put it past you to wait until I'd done 2 roleplays before bringing this up. 3) You need to use the precedent that you already set. In the week leading up to that marvelous Texas PPV that was so highly acclaimed by you, Jim, Marcus T. did a roleplay entitled "So they like Chris Rock jokes.. OK lets give it to em." located at http://members2.boardhost.com/cwatexas/msg/25.html. Correct me if I'm wrong, but these things never actually took place in the "e-wrestling world": "It shows a wanna be FWF rookie face in the dirt he is eating the dirt.." He isn't someone in an FWF shirt (as in the possibility that it is an actor); it IS "a wanna be FWF rookie", eating dirt. "It shows Justin Goldman bending over with Dave Dexter head getting stuck in Goldmaans butt." Yeah, I enjoyed that one as well. The actual Dave Dexter character sticking his head in the actual Justin Goldman character's butt. When I do things similar to this, I use similes, such as "That guy smoked the other runners like Marcus T. smokes crack!" or something that everyone knows would never happen, like "Marcus T's head opens up and his brain flies away". There is an obvious distinction here between what's within the rules (mine) and what wasn't (Marcus), yet Marcus T. received a draw with BRS, meaning this RP was counted and he was rewarded. If you're going to set that precedent, that it's OK to use someone else's character, then you'd better stick to it. Of course, this is all assuming that "Jim Harper" is someone else's character, which brings me to my next point... 4) "Jim Harper" is a character owned by the Fans Wrestling Federation. Jim, you gave FULL CONTROL of the Jim Harper character to the FWF. Thus, if you want to hit me with a technicality, then we can get technical. "Jim Harper" is no longer your character and I made an OBVIOUS reference to that fact at the bottom of my roleplays. I am FWF staff, thus I have creative control over any and all FWF characters, and SO all I am doing is using an FWF character as I see fit. Using "Jim Harper" in those roleplays is no different than using "Truth Master" or "Desiree Goldman". I am the FWF and it is the FWF's character. As soon as Don left, I knew this would happen. I knew that Jim would try to pull this because he couldn't trust the match to take its course; Patty and I couldn't just have a good time roleplaying and whoever won would win. It would be too close for your comfort, Jim. I did absolutely NOTHING wrong in those roleplays. You're allowed not to respect me anymore, Jim; you can not like me and you can be insulted by the RP's (that IS the point), but those RP's were legal. I could possibly reveal that this "Jim Harper" is an impostor, which would "validate" them in your eyes as far as using characters go... Although you're wrong, I could be nice and do that. Or I could just do what I've been doing and you can tell everybody how Jim Harper isn't quite the "straight shooter" he claims to be because he's trying to keep someone he has a personal grievance with from winning. DON... as far as I'm concerned, you have the final say in this. You've seen my points, they are legitimate I PROMISE you; "Jim Harper" was given to the FWF. If you say they're fine, they're fine. If you say make this "Jim Harper" an impostor, I can do that. And Don, if you want me to do 6 roleplays when no one else has had to, just to prove myself, then I will do so.. if YOU say so, because I respect you Don. Make it your final decision as Commish... you were still Commish when RPing started anyways. Jim, this is the biggest load of crap I've ever been hit with. Thanks for trying to ruin the fun. Pat, let's try to salvage this week. JR... how could you book Dale Sandusky when you already fired him? Thank you gentlemen. -Dave Marlow From: "J. Harper" I'll make this short and sweet. Don J. is not the Commissioner. I am! When Don was Commish I complained to him and he said he would take care of it. Last night I saw you use my character or my handler (whichever you like...LOL) and I complained to everyone about the matter then. Actually, I think I'm being pretty generous allowing you a chance to start over. As for you owning Jim Harper? Well pal, if you wish to use Jim Harper in your FWF fed the way you have done to Gravestone and who knows how many other people. Well, go for it. This isn't the FWF...this is the CWA! We go by different rules! When you rp here you are in fact, contracting yourself to us by rping. Thus, I guess you could say I own the rights to the Dave Dexter character!..LOL But don't worry Dave. I won't do anything to your character like you did to Gravestone. That just wouldn't be right. Dave, you once were a very good OOC person, but you have really changed. I don't understand why you are so bitter. E wrestling is to have fun and you just don't seem like a happy camper. Just please don't break the rules and try to have a little fun. Thank you all "The HarpBreak Kid" Jim Harper Date: Wed, 20 Sep 2000 00:25:28 -0700 (PDT) Alrighty Jim, let's take it step by step, shall we? -I'll make this short and sweet. Don J. is not the Commissioner. I am! I am aware. By the way, that was fairly convenient timing for Don to step down and for you to step in. Wouldn't you agree? -When Don was Commish I complained to him and he said he would take care of it. He didn't. -Last night I saw you use my character or my handler (whichever you like...LOL) and I complained to everyone about the matter then. I used the FWF character "Jim Harper". He isn't yours, as you gave control away. I'm sure you did complain to "everyone" though. We have to be sure everyone agrees that you're in the right, regardless of any legit points I make. -Actually, I think I'm being pretty generous allowing you a chance to start over. Actually, Jim, I think you're being an ASS, and you have been since you got your feathers ruffled over the Gravestone incident. -As for you owning Jim Harper? Well pal, if you wish to use Jim Harper in your FWF fed the way you have done to Gravestone and who knows how many other people. Well, go for it. I don't "own" Jim Harper; FWF owns the "Jim Harper" character. I don't want to use Jim Harper in "my" FWF fed (now that I have ownership of the fed, as granted by Jim Harper). I did what I did with Gravestone to send a message: I wanted Ed on board with FWF and I wanted him roleplaying, but if he didn't want to stay, then quit holding FWF up. Plain and simple. It's really none of your business to comment on it at all since FWF is "dead to you", and the fact that you bring it up PROVES that you can't differentiate between personal issues and your task (commissioner) and that you cannot be unbiased. -This isn't the FWF...this is the CWA! Thanks for clearing that up. -We go by different rules! I've read the rules and I haven't broken one. -When you rp here you are in fact, contracting yourself to us by rping. Which is why I am still roleplaying in CWA. I originally joined Canada as part of a WWC angle and I have been honoring my "contract" and my status as a title holder. -Thus, I guess you could say I own the rights to the Dave Dexter character!..LOL You couldn't say that at all. As a matter of fact, it's a ridiculous statement and you contradict yourself by saying it. "Contracting myself to you" and "you owning me" are completely different. When someone signs a contract, you have control over their angles, their matches, etc. When you own someone, they're yours; you have control over EVERYTHING. So as it is, you could have "Dave Dexter" job to Marcus T., do a jig on your show, make him out to be a complete moron. But you can't kill him or use him in a roleplay without my permission. On the other hand, FWF OWNS the "Jim Harper" character, the equivalent of having created him ourselves. He could be commentating on the next Saturday Night Showdown or bashing his fat head in with a tack hammer in my next roleplay, because you gave him to the FWF, and I am an FWF representative. Don't be an Indian giver, Jim. I don't have to ask to use "Jim Harper" any more than I have to ask to use "Truth Master". There's a big difference between ownership and contractual obligation. -But don't worry Dave. I won't do anything to your character like you did to Gravestone. That just wouldn't be right. Thanks, buddy. What I did to Gravestone wasn't out of spite towards the character or the CWA as a fed, any desire to make him look foolish, or a personal dislike for Ed. I've already explained it, so if it doesn't register with you, fine. If Ed wants to write Carved in Stone and suddenly decide that I'm a horrible roleplayer, fedhead, and person, so be it. Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't I already say cheapshots (much like this one) are what got me started on this whole tangent? Simply put, screw you, Jim. -Dave, you once were a very good OOC person, but you have really changed. As a general rule, with very few exceptions, people don't change, only circumstances do. I am the same person I've always been, but you made it a point to let everyone know that "FWF sucks/is dead to you" and that "Dave Dexter isn't a respectable person". Fine. As an FWF roleplayer, it wasn't my place to say anything about the opinions of other federations and their roleplayers on the FWF; as a columnist for "The Brass Tax", I reported on everybody's opinions; as Old School President, it's my JOB not to let FWF be walked on by anybody, both by telling people so and by making FWF a great place once again. If you hadn't noticed, Jim, FWF is doing better now than it has since long before Hamid left. The angles are great. The cards are great. People are roleplaying and others are itching to get in. So I guess I can sacrifice your respect for me, if that's how you want to be, if it FINALLY makes FWF fun for people again. -I don't understand why you are so bitter. I'm not bitter at all. -E wrestling is to have fun and you just don't seem like a happy camper. What an astute observation! You pompous fart in the wind. I'm having fun making FWF an ideal place again, roleplaying with Pat, and talking with people in the game. But good call; when I'm e-mailing you, explaining myself to you even though I haven't broken any rule whatsoever, then yeah.. I'm not a happy camper. -Just please don't break the rules I didn't. -and try to have a little fun. I was, until you rained estrogen on my parade. So Jim, care to answer these questions? 1) Why didn't I receive a single indirect OR direct warning from you, AT ALL? 2) Why wasn't I informed that there would be a problem with this series of roleplays BEFORE I had written two? 3) Why were you named commissioner at the EXACT time that someone who you have a major disagreement with would be vying for the World Title? 4) Why do you you practice hypocrisy (exemplified in your tolerance for Marcus T's roleplay) like it was a second religion? Based on those questions alone, I shouldn't have to re-do a damned thing. It's apparent that you would hate for me to have a fair chance of winning this match. Don, I await your response old friend. I'll go ahead with the current storyline, or reveal that this "Jim Harper" isn't the real "Jim Harper" which would mean I wouldn't have broken any of Jim's imaginary rules anyway... or if you say I have to do six, then I will do six roleplays. It's completely unfair, I broke no rules, and I have COLLEGE, but I have enough respect for you that I'll do it... somehow. You talk about people showing their true colors, Jim... and YOU have certainly shown yours as well. Date: Wed, 20 Sep 2000 10:36:30 -0700 (PDT) Guys: I have been out of town since yesterday afternoon and just got in. I have read all the e-mails and will give my response and try to address the issues best I can. First of all, Dave seems to be insinuating that Jim was made commissioner at the time he got a world title shot by plan instead of just curious timing. I began talking to Jim Harper last week about taking over the CWA. There are no alterior motives at all. I simply don't have time to do this any longer. Nothing more, nothing less. To say anything else is stretching things way out of proportion. Second, Jim did indeed ask me to speak to Dave about the use of Jim Harper in his roleplays. I e-mailed JR about the matter yesterday. I should have done it sooner but I simply forgot about doing it until then. I am an old man and can't remember things without writing them down..LOL Plus, I always tried to let the fedhead handle internal matters first, it's the proper chain of command way to do things. Finally, I would love to wave a magic wand and have Dave and Jim as friends but it's pretty obvious that isn't going to happen now. So all I can do is tell everyone involved this. Jim is the CWA commissoner. I am no longer the commissioner, nor will I ever be again.. not unless I was to sell everything I am involved with overnight..HA The position of commissioner is the final voice in any dispute and any ruling that involves the CWA. That's the way the alliance was designed. Someone has to be the final authority and Jim is the commissioner and final authority. I wish you all good luck in this matter ado encourage everyone to try and work through the problems. Life is to short to have disagreements cause such grief. Good luck and God bless. Don After all of that useless bickering, I received the following e-mail, which appeared to be Jim Harper trotting out into the neutral zone on his pink My Little Pony, waving a white flag. From: "J. Harper" I've been giving this a lot of thought, and as Commish I need to be settling disputes between all of the CWA members and that includes any disputes that I myself am involved with. Dave, I believe for the sake of the CWA we need to put the Dave Dexter/Jim Harper situation behind us. I'm not apologizing because I don't believe I've been wrong, but on the other hand, I'm not asking you to apologize either, Dave. However, I do apologize for placing members of the CWA (Don J., Jeremy Riley, Pat, and the rest..LOL) into an uncomfortable situation for the past week. My electric hand, composed of binary 0's and 1's, is raised to shake your hand, Dex. Let's let by gones be by gones and let's just forget the matter. I think it will be best for everyone involved. Thank you all "The HarpBreak Kid" Jim Harper It sounded like the best option as far as the well-being of the CWA went, so I wrote the actual "Jim Harper" character out of my storyline (revealing him to be Dr. McCoy from Star Trek in a mask) and I responded accordingly via e-mail: Alright Jim, I suppose we can put our differences aside. Like you said, I am not going to apologize because I don't think I've done anything wrong either. I am no fool; I know what the rules are and I know how to push the line without crossing it, but it's all water under the bridge. I'm going to continue my storyline, which is completely in-character and has nothing to do with our OOC disagreements. I will also say I am sorry to Pat, Paul, and especially Don, for bothering you, but the circumstances bothered me and I felt something had to be said. I'll "shake your hand", Jim, but things aren't going to be the same with us as they once were. I'll simply try to get along. I have three more roleplays to do and tonight and tomorrow to do them. Take care. -Dave From: "J. Harper" Dex, You can continue any storyline you like as long as the Jim Harper character is not used. That is still off limits. I appreciate your cooperation on the matter. Jim This answer from the "Fartbreak" Kid seemed to indicate we were in agreement and that it was time to start with a clean slate. Even Don was pleased with the result and threw in an interesting anecdote about Tim Haught in his next e-mail - which I include here simply for entertainment's sake! Date: Fri, 22 Sep 2000 16:54:06 -0700 (PDT) Guys: I am very happy to see that you have tried to work out your problems. As you know, it is best for everyone. May I share with you guys a story that you may or may not be familiar with? Some 2 years ago, a message was left on our OOC board that was really obscene. It made terribly profane remarks about my Mother. I talked with Jason Leonard, the IWA President of the IWA who by trade is some kind of bigwig computer dude..LOL I told him that the ISP number was Tim Haught's. I asked Jason if it were possible that it could be someone else who had posted? He told me that there was no doubt where the post came from. It belonged to Tim. What made this even worse was the fact that my Mom had died from a battle with cancer just a short time before this and it was one of the few times I was actually emtionally effected by something that had been said on the computer. Tim denys the post to this day.... Actually, I now somewhat believe him. Anyways, I have totally forgiven Tim and even come to like his work. He still has a shoprt fuse but has since been polite with me and I would hope that he even resurfaces in the CWA someday. I would think that if I could work well with Tim, anyone could work well together..lol What does this all mean? LOL Well, I am preaching a bit now but no matter how we think.. or what we think, things are simply never as bad as they seem. I have since tried to use my time online as a 100% positive influence for those around me. Sometimes I make mistakes and let my worse side show but I usually feel really bad about that when it happens. Both of you guys are my friends. I like you both and think that you two guys are among the most talented that I have ever seen. Might I suugest that somewhere down the line, you even give thought to using your combined talents to move our game to another level? Anything is possible you know? Hamid Ismaili and I started off on a really bad foot but after just a while, we began to work together and learned that we really liked and admired each other's talents. The CWA and the FWF are now and always have been the two biggest names in our circle. Just remember that and work with that idea, not against it. Well, I have rambled on and on and probably not made much sense but anytime I can be of assistance, you know my number..LOL Thanks guys for making me feel a lot better as I prepare to exit the store on a Friday evening, and as always... Good luck and God bless! Don …that should have been all. A truce between myself and Jim Harper, an important lesson from Don's infinite wisdom, and an amusing story about Tim Haught. But, as everyone who's been around here for more than 10 minutes knows, it wasn't. This may be my only "regret" from my time in the game; instead of pooling our efforts and "taking the game to the next level" as Don suggested, Harper and I basically had the e-fed equivalent of a thermo-nuclear war. One of us wasn't going to make it out of this feud and still be in the game, plain and simple. I regret it not because I think that Jim Harper had much talent or that I was in the wrong, but because it was the most destructive thing I have ever done in e-fedding. After Dave Dexter wrestled CWA World Champ Brent Kersh to a draw, the belt was held up and put on the line at the huge inter-territorial PPV. The match was Brent Kersh vs. Dave Dexter vs. Beld Painkiller vs. "The Iceman" Dylan Jones vs. Dirty Bird Darrell Anderson. You already know the result of that match from my e-mail to HBM, but my next e-mail is interesting because I've never been a whiner. I've lost some real heartbreakers in my time - I even dropped the FWF Title to Gravestone once for crying out loud - but I never complained about losses. EVER. But Jim left such a glaring streak of Siegfried & Roy sequins and vengefulness across this PPV that I simply couldn't let it slide. I would never complain about a loss, but I sure as hell would complain about the process that led to it. Date: Mon, 2 Oct 2000 12:19:55 -0700 (PDT) Gentlemen, I'll make this quick*, because I have to be in class in 20 minutes. I'm not one to complain about a loss; I never have and I never will, so I'm not going to complain about this loss because that would diminish AD's work and he definitely deserves the title. I simply knew going in that I wasn't going to win this match. I didn't break any rules during the week of the Canada Pay-Per-View by using Jim Harper (I'm not even going to bother going into that again), but since the commissioner's word was final, I went out of my way to do 6 roleplays, and you know that when I do a roleplay, I put some effort into it. It isn't one of those done in 20 minute deals. After roleplaying was done, even Pat was telling me how I really stuck it to Brent Kersh. End result? No winner. I can handle that. Maybe it was Don's decision that we tied, maybe one of you disregarded RPing altogether to setup the scenario for the Interfed PPV, or maybe you, Jim, were in Don's ear. It doesn't matter. So we go to the Interfed PPV, with Jim judging this time. Anthony earned the title and I don't want to take anything away from him, but the fact is I knew that I wouldn't win with Jim judging. I was in the chatroom and they were speculating on who won the World Title. People like Gooch, AD, Darrel, Dallas, Moe, they all had their opinions: "Dex or Kersh", "AD or Dex", etc. I managed to get into everyone of them. EVERY ONE. Explain that to me. You are biased, Jim Harper. Period. You put your character over mine on the card- putting a non-Rping character over one of your handlers, not good policy- you said I included Jim Harper in "fake interviews" when that character turned out to not be Jim Harper at all (it should have been Jim Harper, REALLY), and you made reference to something "Dave Dexter" did to Gravestone. What? My character never did anything to Gravestone. As far as in-character goes, Dave Dexter has acknowledged that he works backstage at FWF in his CWA promos, but Gravestone physically made himself look foolish in that match. It doesn't make sense that you cite that OOC incident on an in-character show. Like I said, this isn't complaining. Nobody deserves it more than AD and it's not like you can go back and reverse a decision anyway. I just had to say something instead of bottling up my thoughts, so I'm saying it through e-mail. You can't tell me that anyone in that match had roleplays which were THAT much better than mine, yet I feel like they had a chance to win and I didn't. I talked to Bryon (Live) about this exact set of circumstances. He didn't think I was going to roleplay, when I hadn't until Friday due to school. I seriously busted ass to do those RP's and it was basically for nothing as far as winning and losing was concerned; I was going to lose. The only reason I roleplayed at all this past week was for the fun of RPing. I may only be one person, there may not be anyone else in CWA who agrees with me, but you've done everything you could to keep me down and kill my fun, and for that, Jim, you are a jackass. I'm not a conceited person, self-absorbed with my own abilities, but DAMN, I think I put out some roleplays that would have won me that title in at least 1 of those 2 matches had it not been for all this "Don stepping down and you stepping in" business. Jim Harper, I believe that Don made a poor choice appointing you as commissioner, considering who would be getting a shot as soon as you "took office", and even now, I'm baffled as to how Don can come back suddenly. It's beyond me how things turn out EXACTLY right so that you, Jim, were the commissioner during the two weeks that I have World Title matches. Don, I apologize, but something had to be said because the events that have gone down are outrageously biased and ridiculous. I don't want OOC wars starting, so here it is. I don't like you Jim, and I don't respect you. Not anymore. I hope you stay gone for a very long time. Maybe I should change my character's nickname to "Tha Bomb"... Date: Mon, 2 Oct 2000 13:00:54 -0700 (PDT) Dave: First of all, I appreciate you keeping your comments to the e-mail and not the OOC board, that is very professonal of you and very commendable as well. I have also been on the end of a match like yours and I handled the situation the same way. And yes, I know how hard it is to keep your thoughts bottled up so I understand that you need to vent your frustrations. Let me attempt to address your concerns. First off, I can not speak for Jim Harper and will not attempt to. What is between the two of you has gone to far for me to interceed so I will simply stick to what I can tell you as fact and not conjecture. You suspect some conspiracy between myself and Jim Haper, I believe? This couldn't be further from the truth as far as my end. Two weeks ago, I decided that I would step down as commissioner. I felt that Jim Harper would make a fine commissioner and I asked him to take the position. Two days after asking him, he advised me that he was not happy and was going to retire from e-wrestling and now left me in a bad spot. Yes, I did make a mistake. I thought jim would be the perfect man for the job. He had been around as long as anyone I knew. He had the knowledge and ability and everyone knew him and most respected him. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, it did not work. This left me in a very sticky situation.. guys started coming out of the woodwork wanting the position. Fed heads could not agree on who they wanted and some were bitterly opposed to various candidates. Unknown to most was that the situation deteriorated to the point that JR quit... and the other two fedheads were at loggerheads and almost everyone was ready to throw in the towel. Pardon me for being a bit conceited but I decided that only one man could straightren out the mess and that was me.That is when I stepped back in as commissoner. Well, Jim had told me that he was going to make good on his promise to do the Interfed PPV and that is where that came in. I have tried to stay out of things this week and just get all the feds back up to snuff. Yes, it has been a most hectic and dark two week period for the CWA and I regret what happened. I can only apologize to you and aks you to consider what I have told you. I have never been involved in anything to screw a handler and never will be. This is my release valve. I come to e-fedding to simply enjoy myself as I know you do. Jim's tenure is over and I am back in charge. I can make you no promises except to say that I will be as fair to one guy as I will to another, the way I have always worked. I hope that you remain in the CWA and hope that you can put this two weeks behind you. Nothing much else I can say my friend. If there is something that I failed to cover, feel free to let me know? Don Date: Mon, 2 Oct 2000 13:50:50 -0700 (PDT) Don, I vented my frustrations by voicing my concerns in e-mail, but I also posted a little joke about the Guatemalan thing on the OOC board to try and cheer myself up (I guess). I'm not saying you "conspired" with Jim Harper against me. I was just suprised that his tenure as commissioner fit so snugly into the exact same time slot as my World Title shots. It's probably coincidence, like you said, but that's the way the chips fell nonetheless. I'm also guessing that Jim complained to you about me winning the title, much like he complained about my use of the Jim Harper character in roleplays. When I said you made a mistake, I suppose you can look at it as now as Jim not being a dependable commissioner and leaving you in a bad spot, but I was referring to his ability to be fair. It was plain as day that Jim hated me, yet you made him commissioner anyway. Don't get me wrong Don, I know you have to look out for the good of the CWA as a whole first, but it did make me the odd man out. Seriously, I understand the choice, but it was a mistake in regards to "Dave Dexter" because it left him SOL if you catch my drift. Don, you are not conceited. You ARE and ALWAYS have been the only man for the job. That's the truth. I suppose I'm not accusing you of trying to "screw" me because I doubt you would do anything of that nature. I guess what I'm questioning is your trust in me. There's some obvious competition between CWA and FWF, and I was doing an anti-CWA gimmick; did you not have enough faith in me as a handler and a person to give me a chance to win? Don't you trust or respect me, Don? I know Jim doesn't, yet he was allowed to force me to do 6 roleplays, to go OOC on the PPV card after getting on me for supposedly defaming him, the handler, in roleplays, and while I know there is a hierarchy, a "chain of command" so to speak, which had Jim Harper at the top, I think that if you had stepped in more, we could have avoided this. Positions and "ranks" mean nothing to me, Don. Your authority supercedes all in CWA as far as I'm concerned because you've put in the endless hard work and you command that respect. Jim Harper doesn't command jack from me. Pat Martin thought I had beaten him. AD went wild over that Guatemala roleplay. I ripped on the speaking style of Beld's character so much that he e-mailed both you and I thinking it was an attack on him personally; it wasn't. It was all in-character, but it was just that "biting" and offensive. I don't praise myself, but to me, when other people say that about my roleplays, it means that I've done something right. Not that Jim Harper cares. I'm done as a handler for now, in CWA and elsewhere. I've been in the game for barely a year and I've improved a great deal since I first joined FWF or when I entered WWC6. But along with that improvement has come nothing but turmoil. I remember when I could just roleplay and not worry about anything. Now I have to deal with all these politics in a game that is just supposed to be about fun. It wears on a person. I'm going to run FWF Old School, and I'm going to help Cody with CWA Canada. Other than that, I'm too sick of the game to compete in it. Take it easy Don, I'm sorry to trouble you. Then Chimp Harper chimes back in and basically admits, with a gleeful grin stretched above his three quivering chins, that he intentionally tried to embarrass me. From: "J. Harper" LOL...You say you aren't complaining but you are Dex. AD deserved to win because he had the better rps. I've never been a fan of long rps that really didn't talk about anything. That's one reason why Enforcer didn't win it even though I personally like him. In fact, I probably am a closer friend to Enforcer than I am the other guys who were in the Tournament. Now, I don't know why you are complaining considering I didn't have you get pinned at the PPV. You were not the worse rper therefore you didn't deserve to be pinned. As for everything else that took place in the PPV. You deserved it! You started the crap and now you got BURNED by the same crap that you started! It makes no difference to me if you respect me, like me or whatever. You got what you deserved and I have a mailbox full of emails from other people to prove it! Good day people! "The HarpBreak Kid" Jim Harper Yeah, I'd be willing to bet every jelly dildo Jim keeps in his bedroom down in mommy's basement that half of those e-mails were from Gravestone asking him to cyber. The other half were probably answers to the personal ad he placed in Playgirl for a middle-aged bobsledding tranny with a taped-back hotdog looking for nude luge lessons. Is this the same happy-go-lucky Jim Harper who wants us all as his "buddy"? Is this the same Jim Harper who gave us a supposedly "fair and balanced" account of the various feds in that poorly-written crap-stained strip of toilet tissue he called a column? Is this the same Jim Harper who always turns that frown upside down with a hearty "LOL"? No, folks, this is the real Jim Harper, a legless, smarmy little maggot larva who plays politics, favorites, and with the genitals of his fellow butt cowboy, Gravytrain. This golden gal made the mistake of his AOL-powered life when he tried to brush me aside, and I made him pay for it. Date: Mon, 2 Oct 2000 15:20:10 -0700 (PDT) I said I wasn't complaining about AD winning. I AM complaining about you being a pompous, arrogant, self-righteous prick. There's a difference, moron. My RP's talked about nothing? Too long? Whatever. If that's why Kersh didn't win, because his roleplays were "long and talked about nothing", then how did Jones win? They are EXTREMELY similar. I don't care who gets pinned. I'd rather have Dex be pinned than have your ridiculous character hit him with a shovel, but it doesn't matter. You have a mailbox full of e-mails that say I deserved what I got? I had a chatroom full of those same people saying Dave Dexter was on top of his game and was the winner. I didn't say it; THEY did, so sell that line of bulls*** somewhere else. I didn't start any crap. What goes on with myself, Ed Thompson, and FWF is none of your DAMN business. That's okay though, Jim. You can job me because you don't like me. You can make excuses, saying my roleplays are too long, even though they weren't very long at all and I was under the impression that it was based on entertainment value, which if you ask around you'll find I had a bit of, and that length was irrelevant, long OR short. Here's your straight shooter, Don. Pardon me, I'm not a church-goer, but F*** YOU JIM HARPER. You're a genuine piece of s***. Kudos, ya smear. We'll see who gets burned worst, BUDDY... ya wanker. …and with that last line, I personally prophesied Jim Harper's e-fed doom. I would later win the CWA World Title anyway and Jim Harper would disappear from the scene completely. But running this cretin out of the game wasn't enough; he had put on a façade for a lot of people over the years and snowed them over when the time was right. He was so effective at this, that by the time he was ready to stab his "buddies" in the back they really believed he was so clean of controversy that he squeaked when he walked, and they met their downfall with a "nice Hodgepodge, Jim!" and a smile on their face. He hadn't just tried to job me, he had made an e-fed "career" of it.. if there is such a thing. The punishment for these crimes against e-humanity was for his character to be turned into a flaming homosexual, as well as a self-humiliating idiot, and placed in a prominent position on FWF cards. What resulted were some of the best angles, shows, strats and roleplays I had the privilege of being a part of during my FWF tenure. The years have rolled on since this little spat between Jim Harper and myself happened, and to this day it seems as though people still remember both of our names. However, I hope that they recall me for what I did as a roleplayer and a fedhead, because Jim Harper is no longer known for his work as the Big Red Scare. He's infamous for being s***hammered by yours truly and turned into a shimmering blob of concentrated HIV. Do I hate Jim Harper? Not at all. I never really did, but even my prior dislike has faded into ambivalence. I'm not ashamed of nuking the guy's e-fed world. He was two-faced and egocentric, and there's no place for a person like that in a game that requires cooperation and respect. But still, it brings a sly smile to my face every time someone mentions Jim Harper, because what they talk about isn't the Hodgepodge or BRS, but some outlandishly queer thing he did that was written by yours truly. A great deal of the time, people get what they deserve. Jim, if you ever read this… hugs and kisses buddy (LOL), it wouldn't have been the same without ya. Blood runs cold… AGAIN! One of my favorite things about the TWF was its extensive jobber roster. To enhance the "reality" of the fed, it became a tradition to have house/spot shows where roleplayers had a chance to further their angles while gaining an easy victory over a stiff. But the match wasn't just a squash over some no-name ham 'n' egger, it was a win over one of the TWF's perennial losers, many of whom had developed very specific personalities due to the way the various fedheads had written them. Who among us will ever forget lovable scamps like Dale Sandusky or the late tub-o'-goo, Gomer Mathis? Through their constant curbstompings, these characters began to evolve so much that a few of us would take them by the reigns and steer them around the boards ourselves. Don would pen appearances by the Germans; Perk (Dr. Midnight) would illustrate Jobber the Hutt's monstrous gastronomical disorder with colorful prose. Soon, even non-wrestler characters were being bounced around like marionettes, whether it was Gary's delightful "Jim Shorts on Sports" or Brodie (Destructo) commandeering security chief Mack Tharpe and resurrecting the forgotten careers of guys like Tulip "The Unsinkable Mr. Julian" Givens for storyline purposes. I was no stranger to this practice myself. Prior to my super-mega-ultra-top secret entrance into the WWC7 tournament as The Chameleon, I had the jumblemouthed imbecile Welfare Willy bumbling his way around CWA Canada and Ray Yarbrough's ICW as part of my cover, basically giving The Chameleon's "handler" a résumé and erasing the paper trail leading to Dave Dexter. Likewise, I pinched off a few spots featuring "The Happy Hillbilly Hatemonger" Randy Hitler. Don and Chris also had the habit of employing real wrestlers who had been fired/released from WWF and WCW, and they too became part of the TWF job squad. At the time I hadn't given the embarrassing fates of these poor, unfortunate individuals much thought; they were simply targets for ridicule and I was always trigger happy. But when Glacier appeared on a TWF show following his dismissal from WCW and promptly jobbed to one of our "lesser" but regular talents (I don't recall exactly who, but let's just say it was Matt Moon to be safe), an alarm went off. I rolled my shirtsleeves up over the anchor tattoos on my enormous forearms and crushed a tin can in the palm of my fist, sending a glob of spinach flying on a parabolic course right into my open mouth. That was all I could stands, I couldn't stands no more! Why Glacier? Because it broke my damn heart to see all those radical "blood runs cold" vignettes go to waste, that's why. As true fans of professional wrestling, we had all witnessed the promos. How long did it take those WCW computer geeks, fresh out of their 2-week training courses at the local technical college, to get the rotation on that frozen eye of Ra thing just right? How many years had it taken this blonde, buzz-cutted, baby blue-eyed slice of white bread to perfect his not-quite-90 degree crescent kick? How much money had he paid Midway to purchase Sub-Zero's shin guards and ninja respirator? And the LASER SHOW was dope too! With every post, I included a "SAVE GLACIER" button, because that's what I intended to do. He would be a shining beacon of goodness to all of the vile miscreants infesting the TWF! He would seek out wrongdoers and dish out harsh punishment in the form of karate that even Steven Seagal would laugh at. And of course the easiest way for Glacier to find said evil would be to hover at the side of Dave Dexter. Eventually, Glacier even won the Tennessee Title and held it for an extremely brief period. However, hanging with Dex was the equivalent of falling in with a crowd so bad that… uh… the only mildly bad crowd kicked them out. I believe I finally wrote Glacier out of the picture when Dex passed the rap onto him for a marijuana drug bust while the two were enrolled at a substance abuse rehabilitation center in Hohenwald. I'm not sure what that means for Glacier from an in-character perspective, but if we do indeed assume him to be sharing a Tennessee State Penitentiary cell with a 300 pound biker named Earl, who's serving 15-20 for tearing his real estate agent's face off and wearing it like a Buffalo Bob mask while driving across three state lines, then it would be to Glacier's advantage if blood indeed still runs cold. Jade Diamond is not a fudgepacker, but I won a lot of matches by saying he was. It's hard to imagine how a person can reap as much enjoyment from a simple, mundane joke about another person's sexual preference as I did around the time that the TWF was reconstituted from the shattered CWA. I can see no other way to explain this story except to bluntly say it: I have nothing against homosexuals, I don't hate homosexuals or suffer from any sort of phobia, but one of the most hilarious prospects in the world to me is the notion that there are men out there who actually take pleasure in having some other guy blow his dairy in their bunghole. Generally speaking, I consider myself a reasonably intelligent, sophisticated person, but admittedly you have to be at least a little vulgar and immature to a) watch professional wrestling in the first place, and b) find as much humor in retarded gay jokes as I do. That said, the span of time when the TWF first implemented the new "points system" was one of the most entertaining stints I've had in e-fedding. For those unaware, the concept behind this system was fairly simple: every post would garner you points, based on criteria such as entertainment value, originality, angle continuance and evidence that you at least put a little effort in. A post could be, but didn't necessarily have to be, a roleplay; the only restrictions were the traditional TWF rules against excessive swearing, nudity, religious overtones, etc. Needless to say, Heartbreak Meyers and myself, conniving bastages that we were, took full advantage of the situation, especially when an NEW contingent consisting of Trey Reed, Trent Storm, JD Lawson, Andre Reese, and Jade Diamond joined the fed. Maybe it was the name, maybe it was that Travis and Trey were often together in feds… I don't recall the exact reason why, but one fine day (I believe it was a Tuesday) HBM and I decided that Jade Diamond was, in fact, gay. HBM was running the gimmick of being the first Aussie to campaign for the U.S. presidency, so he included it in his platform - what politician can get away with not addressing the gay rights issue these days, right? Personally, I had no excuse. It started with simple accusations (e.g. "Hey Gayde Diamond, you're really gay, ya know that, gayface?") and amusing redefinitions of the NEGWA acronym. Goodtimes. But I wasn't finished. I began posting "newspaper" articles with detailed accounts of how Jade Diamond was in hot water with the TWF brass for refusing to submit to standard procedural blood tests. The reason? According to the National Enquirer (contributing reporter: Dave Dexter, obviously), Jade Diamond had contracted the HIV virus during anal intercourse with longtime companion and possible life-partner Trey Reed. I know, real classy. If I remember correctly, Travis would deny the allegations and then try to continue whatever storyline he was working, but was often at a loss for how to respond to something of that nature. That, I suppose, was the point. And the party continued. Since Diamond apparently had "refused" to let the federation run their normal tests, Dave Dexter, as HBM's Vice Presidential nominee and EVER-noble protector of the TWF that he was, took the crusade upon himself, vowing to do a comprehensive background check of Jade, and boycotting any and all matches with Diamond/Reed/etc. for fear that they might be busted open and bleed liquid AIDS all over the arena. Perhaps the lowest point of all this came when Dexter announced that Jade's company, Jaleth Enterprises, had paid for his degree in divinity, making him a man of the cloth. The natural conclusion to this "discovery", of course, was that Father Diamond was molesting adolescent boys in his dressing room under the guise of giving out autographs and hearing confessions. The entire scenario was disgusting and I'm sure I offended a bunch of people, but that wasn't the best part. What was the best part, you ask? Jade Diamond and Dave Dexter weren't even feuding. The fed had just restarted. Nobody was involved in any real programs yet. Travis and I hadn't gotten together and decided to run any angles. I had just decided, because evidently I'm a sick and twisted individual, that I was going to saddle Jade Diamond with the queer label for my personal amusement. Really, what the hell? I'm evil, I guess. Luckily Travis is a good writer and Jade Diamond, as a character, survived and accomplished quite a lot after the whole ordeal (as he had long before it happened as well). I would feel bad if that hadn't been the case because Travis is a good guy and a talented roleplayer. But even now, the specter haunts him. Every once in awhile, Don will make another crack about it. There's even a blurb about Diamond being gay on his Heritage Awards bio, for crying out loud. And to think, it all happened because I get the giggles from calling somebody a "stool pusher" or a "colon puncher". I need my head examined. The "Anti" Gimmick So, yeah. I almost got fired as CWA World Champ one time. I was simultaneously in FWF and IWF in early 2000, and I had only been on the scene for a few months. I had won a tournament to be crowned the first IWF Iron Man Champion and the fed was hopping. Meanwhile, the mighty Fans Wrestling Federation was imploding. All the old bigwigs were gone and Justin Goldman was having trouble keeping the place together; at one point, everyone thought the FWF was finished for sure. Being a heel from the IWF's biggest rival, which was also on the verge of closing, put me in a very strange position, which then gave me an even odder idea. Perhaps it was NWO-inspired, although the connections to the WWF in that were always non-specific and ambiguous, but I hadn't ever seen anything like exactly it: I decided to run an anti-IWF/pro-FWF angle, whereby the dying FWF would live on and actually overrun the IWF through my own personal conquests. I took to calling my belt the "FWF" Iron Man title, feuded with owner Eddie Jones, and all that jazz - that's another story and a different fed. A year and a half later, I was running FWF full-time as well as roleplaying in the newly established, red-hot CWA. From an in-character standpoint, Dave Dexter was an FWF superhero and was now faced with a serious conflict of interests. Jim Harper had just served me his big turd sammich at the interfed PPV, but ended up eating it and having his bloated arse unceremoniously wheelbarrowed out of e-fedding, when the idea occurred to me: what worked in IWF would fly even better and be even more fitting in the current CWA situation. I assume that any rational person would take this with a grain of salt, and most did. I wouldn't bother wasting my time roleplaying in a place that I genuinely despised, or if I would, it would only be to antagonize some AOL-subscribed human genome experiment gone awry, who I also held a special sort of loathing for. Incidentally, I had just finished giving the boot to the last idiot who fit the bill in James Tiberius Harper, the lisping peg-legged captain of the starship Lollipop, so all was well. I ran with the angle, continuing my "FWF Texas" shtick and actually working a storyline with then-CWA Canada president Cody Harris (handler of Jason Starr) to mount a "takeover" and turn "FWF Canada" into a territorial farm system for FDub. When the World Title defense circuit swung around to Canada, I sealed the deal and won the belt. As part of the obligatory celebratory tauntings, I crafted banners with stupid cutesy plays on FWF slogans like "FWF: We don't say we're the best… but the CWA World Champ does!" In the background of all this, there was still the unresolved issue of finding a new CWA Commissioner. After the Harper debacle, Don stepped in temporarily to restore order, but didn't have the time to remain in the position. Almost as a footnote and with zero fanfare, Daniel Roach was named as the new head honcho. Daniel was a good dude. Daniel was a very competent and successful roleplayer as The Interrogator. But bless his heart, Daniel was NOT what I would classify as a "capable fedhead" - at least not in my experience. At one point later on, Daniel would award a World Title victory to Live over Dr. Midnight in a match where Live roleplayed twice to Perk's four. I realize Live is undoubtedly "THA HAWTNESS", but I think we all recognize the problem there. Daniel apologized for the mistake, but it was still glaring. Easily the worst decision I've ever seen and believe me, I've seen a couple. Anyway, that's irrelevant except that it was symptomatic of Daniel's tenure as commish. Supreme jackass that Dex is, one night I decide that since I'm writing an FWF show anyway, I might as well get some easy heel heat and have Dex make a cameo on it - with the CWA World Title. I know that I had him dropkick the belt down the aisle and play hackysack with it, and I'm fairly certain that there was mucus and mock butt-wiping involved, although I'm not totally positive on the "mock" part of that. Regardless, Daniel Roach is pissed and fires me an e-mail with "how dare you" this and "I'll shoot you on the White House lawn for high treason!" that. Not that I blame him. It could be seen as a betrayal, but I figured since I hadn't taken a blood oath to join this fantasy wrestling fed that I was okay. Besides, I'd been around a bit, people knew I wasn't the kind of person to stab anyone or any fed in the back. My stabbing is reserved strictly for retribution - ask Jim or Ed. Actually, the Harper incident probably didn't help matters much, having happened relatively recently, but I explained to Daniel that it was simply part of the gig I was running and that I was loyal and committed to CWA. Basically, I told him it wasn't OOC or meant to be disrespectful to CWA, but if he had to fire me, so be it. In the end, he said he just would've liked to have known beforehand; he liked to be "in the loop" on things and he was frustrated with it. I wasn't the only one not clearing angles with the man in charge. I guess the moral of the story then, for you kids out there, is that you should tell all your angles to Daniel Roach before running them or you'll be executed in J. Edgar Hoover's herb garden with Aaron Burr's musket. Right. Or maybe there is no moral and I'm wasting valuable TWF bandwidth by babbling about it. It's just that not many people knew this story. Apparently not many CWA roleplayers knew that Daniel Roach was their commissioner either. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Rather than the usual word association /"shout out"/thank people like I just won an academy award game, I thought I'd meander through some random thoughts by mentioning something I liked about TWF or the people in it, something I didn't, and something that was just so atrocious it was hard to even look at on a computer screen. Here goes. Good: The solidarity of the TWF. It's amazing how much like a family this fed has been. For anyone who ever spent any time here, you know that you couldn't ask for a better group of people to play this game with. Bad: The retirement of "legends". I can't shake the feeling that if guys like HBM, JF, Racky, Haggar, and others were still roleplaying, the place might not have closed. With interest waning in WWE, e-feds need talented writers more now than ever. The few new people who do join lack experience and have fewer standard-bearers to learn from at the same time. I'd never make an ignorant, overarching claim that some sort of e-fed apocalypse is upon us, but this particular circle of feds is a boneyard and I suspect many other circles are suffering the same. Ugly: If you don't believe the level of competition in e-fedding has dropped off, allow me to direct your attention to any and all title reigns by Adam Young. Come on now. I'm not out to tear you down Mickey, but this is my last chance to ask: do you even try? Do you have a learning disability? Did somebody pee in your mother? Seriously, your roleplays are enough to rupture a person's bile duct. Please improve. What the hell man. Good: A Jack Bone storyline. If Sean is writing, I'm reading. I'm always the first to advertise the fact that Jack Bone was WWC7 World Champion. Let me say it again. Jack Bone was WWC7 World Champion. He was acclaimed in BTW, but in my mind he's never gotten the recognition that he deserves. The same can be said for Steve Fazzi (handler of Mike Haggar) and Charles Gooch (handler of Undertow), both of whom should literally be writing screenplays if they aren't already. These guys captivated me at times without even mentioning wrestling. Bad: Ultimately, the points system. Several of us had a hilariously good time with it initially because one of the premises behind it was cutting down on the time required to write "formal" roleplays. But beyond the gay jokes and snappy retorts, there was some real abuse of the format. At first there wasn't a limit on the amount of posts or points for a given week, and the stonewallers and spammers came a-calling. I was out of town for most of one week and ended up losing the World Title to the Canadian Patriot at one point because he spammed so much; we seriously totaled it and the number was around 100 posts. Then there was the problem of limiting the number of posts - people could do more thorough roleplays and beat opponents who only delivered "points" posts, which defeated the purpose entirely. The system was worth a try, but failed in action. Ugly: The!!! Skank!!! Mob!!! Uses!!! Too!!! Many!!! Exclamation!!! Points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good: Brian Allen winning the interfed rumble and CWA World Title. He's always been a good roleplayer. He was an International Champ in FWF and I honestly wished that I could've pushed him to the top there, but it was always so competitive with guys roleplaying so much and so LONG, that it never happened. He'd prove himself again later as IWF World Champ, but winning that CWA belt immediately got him some much-deserved acclaim and it also showed that absolutely anyone had a fair shot to hold the gold in Tennessee. Bad: Destructo's endless politicking. Brodie will undoubtedly be upset with this, but them's the breaks. I have no personal beef at all with Des, other than he can't seem to differentiate between whorishly advertising on his OOC and simply posting an invitation to an open tournament. I guess I feel like an inability to differentiate is Brodie's problem in a nutshell. In-character shots versus personal attacks, equitable decisions versus conspiracies or vendettas, real life or fantasy wrestling - sometimes I don't think he sees the distinctions. I mention it because in Destructo I see the potential prototype for a good e-fedder. His story arcs rank with the absolute best, making connections and fitting puzzle pieces together with character development that would make Kevin Smith cream his jeans. I like Destructo roleplays, I like his angles, I respect the history he's built with the character, but Brodie as a handler is a drama queen. Loosen up. You're not Hulk Hogan. You don't have to press for your character to constantly go over. There's no money here, Thunderhips.You don't always have to be in charge either; your angles are good, but oftentimes it's like you're trying to play Monopoly by yourself and you still manage to fight over who's going to own Boardwalk. And Chris is not on a lifelong mission to get you, so it's alright if you want to remove Fox Mulder from your speed dial. You've written well, angled superbly, and you've lived our circle's history; try and set a decent example for the growing number of new people who've done none of the three. Ugly: Beld Painkiller's grammar. Seriously dude, I have no idea what you just said. Good: The Think Tank, the Wakkos, and Lobo & Odin. Once upon a time in wrestling, there was such a thing as a "tag team" where two individuals would actually work together as a cohesive unit. Lobo and Odin did it with that signature TWF grit. LB3 and HIM played fantastically off of one another as well as off of you (well, except me, because LowBrow was my personal punching bag). JackylFan and HST Gonzo shared in the common bond that they were, indeed, smarter than you. They all meshed well together and cooperated as real teams, an almost unheard of occurrence anymore. Bad: Dale Sandusky will never be Heavyweight Champion of the World. It's a travesty I tell's ya. Ugly: JD Lawson's "Jon Jones" gambling fiend character. What was that slop? I hereby dock you 20 credibility points for that one. Good: Dancing the OOC line without crossing it. I've already mentioned JackylFan once, but the way he and Heartbreak Meyers could tread the demilitarized zone between a great roleplay and an OOC war was poetry in motion. HBM would dice you up directly because ultimately, he loved a good OOC squabble and was extremely adept at emerging from the carnage unscathed. JF, on the other hand, mastered the fine art of talking over peoples' heads such that Don, Chris, Brett, Paul, Bryon and myself were probably the only people who got the jokes at all - BUT WE THOUGHT THEY WERE HILARIOUS! Kudos, gentlemen, watching both of you work was a thing of beauty. Bad: The decline of Dan Sweeny. I'm not sure if that's a fair statement, but I'll make it anyway. Paul Leonard went over Dex when the time came and Bill obviously did a fine job with him as evidenced by his accomplishments, but aside from the storyline that changed Dr. Winston O'Boogie into Lennon/Leonard, I never thought the character touched Sweeny. The angry Jew routine was always a riot, but I think even some of Leonard's drama would've been better used in developing more complexities in Sweeny. Perhaps he felt he could only tell that kind of story with Leonard. Regardless, my opinion is that Bill Gilman is a very funny individual and I think the time he put into Leonard took something away from what, if I were him, I would consider my best work in Sweeny. Plus, we didn't see enough of Steve the Sleazebag after Leonard. Ugly: Ric Justus as a multi-time World Champ. Not to go out of my way to knock him, he's alright and Bob is a nice guy, but I can't see how this is possible except through the sheer amount of time that he's spent in Tennessee. It seems analogous to FWF sweeping the fact that Mortis was their first World Champ under the rug. Good: Dr Midnight as a TWF icon. See, this just seems more like the type of legend to tout for a federation. I believe Perk is the only person to beat me twice in Tennessee, but it's not surprising that he did because he's beaten everybody. Indubitably, he's the Forrest Gump of the TWF with the added bonus of violent bowel spasm-inspired humor. He's one of the funniest roleplayers I've ever had the pleasure of reading and/or facing, period. So many times you see an open-ended character like this with all the potential in the world and then the handler blows a perfect set-up, but with The Doc, Perk has used every bit of his ability and always played to his strengths, which is why he's been so successful. Just a great guy, a side-splitting roleplayer, and the perfect representative of what TWF stands for. Bad: Speaking of unfulfilled potential, I'm always reminded of Tim Haught. Why couldn't this kid get it together? His RP's weren't anything spectacular, but he always seemed to be involved in a great angle and poised to step up, only to come crashing back down. If I remember right, the closest he got in TWF was that 4-way title match with HBM, Dominic Moore and Father Wolf. When he lost that, it was over. He had some chances and it's a shame that he could never quite capitalize on them, whether it was hot-headedness, paranoia, or simply having his sights on the wrong goal. Ugly: The Unholy Alliance/TXO Inc./Gord World Order/Whatever. Barry Savage and most of the other people in this big, gelatinous mess of a stable were good on their own, but I can't even keep the name straight and somehow it doesn't seem important to me. My reasoning is that the UA was killer when it first started (or at least when I first saw it), but it became more and more like the various reincarnations of the Horsemen. Let it die already, it's not the same, it'll never be as good as the original. The latest stable wars that took place (a year or so ago?) didn't carry much weight because the group had changed and been on and off so much that I couldn't keep straight who hated who, or who was even in the damn thing. 4Lyfe, I guess. Good: OutKast and Panther as babyfaces. Were they ever heels? Maybe for 5 seconds a hundred years ago, so no. It's important for a fed to have characters like these. They serve as the yardstick for what a face in a certain fed is measured against and they stabilize the place when e-fedders are notorious for whimsically turning for no good reason. You can always count on these guys to "do da right thang, yo!" Bad: Dickie Wreenkle only got #9 on the TWF Heritage Awards. This is, has been, and always will be a gigantic crock of crap. Stop with the false modesty, Don, it's tiresome. I mean I voted Midnight, Dickie, JF as 1, 2, and 3, and of course my opinion is the gospel, which is why you're reading this, so we might as well drop the charade right now. Seriously, is there anybody out there who actually thinks Dickie Wreenkle didn't even crack the top three? …no, no there isn't. Dickie Wreenkle is a TWF staple and his spot on the Heritage Awards is the biggest travesty since Dale Sandusky never getting to be Heavyweight Champion of the World. Ugly: Continuing with the Heritage Awards theme, Jade Diamond did not make it into the Diamond Division. This amusing little irony is most likely due to the fact that he is gay. Good: "The Enforcer" Brent Kersh and "The Iceman" Dylan Jones, also for being unwavering babyfaces. You could set your watch to their untainted goodness - they're that GOOD! They receive added prestige for also being very logic-oriented and therefore challenging opponents. Kershy knows I love him. And ~AD~, you won that match and you deserved that belt, that's all there is to it. Bad: Rocky "8-Ball" Rodriguez invading the TWF OOC board because Racky Wreenkle eliminated him from WWC and subsequently humped a blow-up doll likeness of him. Self-explanatory, really. Ugly: Eric Ray Vaughn gets addicted to Tylenol and then sexually harasses "Dirty Bird" Darrel Anderson. Or something to that effect. Just, why? Good: Marcus T.'s improvement. Is there anyone I used to bag on more back in the day than Marcus? Probably, but I'm too lazy to think of them right now. There used to be a time when I wouldn't go through a single roleplay without insulting Marcus, or at least insulting another wrestler by using a simile or metaphor involving Marcus. During the last year or so I haven't been around much, but I tried to read some stuff here and there. What I saw was Marcus T. diversifying like I never imagined. Character development, detailed angles, it was all there where there had only been bad spelling before. Marcus had won the TWF World Title and was even extending into feds like IW, and I admit that I was amazed at the (apparently) sudden progress that he had made. With a dwindling number of active roleplayers, Marcus didn't "pull an Adam Young" and win his titles by default, but actually stepped up and roleplayed like a leader. Not that I'm the almighty whose "respect ye must earn to prove worthy in this world!" (not that I'm not, either), but I definitely gained a great deal of respect for Marcus T.'s work over the previous year. Bad: Again, if my Ahlzheimer's-riddled memory serves me, only two people from TWF - Dustin Iler and Dominic - participated in the last When Worlds Collide tournament. I would know, since I was in it to win it incognito style until I was shanghaied out of my rightful World Title by Kevin "Liu Kang" Jones and Trey Reed (who also happens to be gay with Jade Diamond, for you civil union couples keeping score at home). What's up? I know numbers were low, but there were more than two people in this fed. People need to show some competitive spirit, some fed pride, and in this circle especially, support any tournament that comes along (including Ultimate Handler, if it ever happens). There's no excuse for not sending more than two TWFers. Apathy is a lot of what's wrong with the game right now. Ugly: Yer mom. Good: The best for last… the way Don Jones guided this fed through the years and, even during his absences, managed to shape it into an enjoyable place to roleplay. The attention to detail, the storyline continuity, the "0LD SKEWL flava-flave", the spot shows, the experiments, the realism - all of it made this place unique among all of the e-feds that I've seen. It's obvious that Don had a vision when he started the TWF and I'm glad that I had the chance to share in part of that. All of you should be as well. Is this the end? Perhaps, perhaps. I don't know when or if I'll ever find the time to play this little game we call e-wrestling again. If I've missed a good story that you know that I know and I know that you know that I know and you know that I know that you know that I know but I don't know it, drop me a line with a request, or feel free to send me an e-mail (fwfprez_2000@yahoo.com) just to say "hey". Or in Jade's case, "gay". Until we meet again kiddies, this is the pimp daddy from Cincinnati saying adios to the TWF and signing off. -Dave |
| Contributor: Gary Holmes (Comment from Chris: This is just a typical TWF chat, but Gary saved it because it included the dismantling of Disco Stu, and when he STILL wouldn't get the hint he was ignored until....well, you'll see what Walls we eventually throw at him to make him go away.) (Hi Lee Derivative) i invented what byron is doing right now (Bryon) I did (cfgb) Looking (JR) i suck (Bryon) Now that is true, you do suck (Bryon) Who the fuck is byron? (Hi Lee Derivative) I invented the hyphen between Fothergill and Brown (Bryon) JR, are you byron? (Bryon) So that would make you Father Fothergill-Brown? (cfgb) Not enough people can spell my name right.... (cfgb) Oh wait, it's on the bottom of the page. (cfgb) Duh. (JR) yes (cfgb) People still misspell it. (JR) i am LB3 (JR) did CRZ die? (cfgb) LB3 got a World Title push...and blew it. (Bryon) If I ever misspell your name Crhis, then you can shoot me (Hi Lee Derivative) remember a little coffee house named starbucks (cfgb) CRZ was with his girlfriend. (Bryon) You can even shoot me with my gun (Hi Lee Derivative) i didnt invent starbucks, but i came up with the idea of putting one on every fourth block in every major city (cfgb) I don't shoot people. (Hi Lee Derivative) i invented shooting (cfgb) I prefer gaynal rape. (Bryon) I invented the Golden Arches over McDonalds (JR) i never got a world title push (Hi Lee Derivative) do you know the little diagram used to tell you how to put batteries in something? my idea (Bryon) Before they used the Golden Arcs (JR) it was that stupid canadian patriot debacle (cfgb) You DID too! You were supposed to main event a PPV against JF. (cfgb) BRB, no Jackie Gleason shit. Time for a PPV. (JR) i cant believe can pat won in scoring. (Bryon) I can't believe you didn't follow through on a World Title push (cfgb) There, slightly better.... (JR) i dont remember that world title push (JR) i never had a one on one feud with JF (cfgb) I do. You had a World Title shot...and no showed for weeks. So I changed the main event. (Hi Lee Derivative) i invented voodoo (WilliamJ) You were about to, then you disappeared (Hi Lee Derivative) not the drink, but the religion (cfgb) Can I have a complimentary doll? (cfgb) James will be proud, I'm watching my birthday present. (JR) i dont remember that chris (WilliamJ) What are you watching? (cfgb) Survivor Series 2001. (Ender) Good for you. (WilliamJ) Im thinking Im gonna watch Wrestlemania 2000 tonight, havent watched it in a while (Bryon) I remember it Paul Anonymous64 has joined the chat room. (JR) i was on break when that happened (cfgb) No matter who you are, whatever you do, PLEASE don't try this at home! (Hi Lee Derivative) i invented breaks Anonymous64 has left the chat room. (Ender) Good advice! (cfgb) JR, you BEGGED me to not change the match. And you still didn't show. (JR) No way (Ender) Maybe my left shoulder would still be intact if I listened to that warning. (JR) i have no recollectgion of that (cfgb) You were on messanger swearing up and down if I kept the match in place you'd start RPing. You didn't RP for another week so I changed it. (Hi Lee Derivative) clearly my character was based on the perception of another characters handler (WilliamJ) lol Maybe my hand wouldnt hurt if I has listened to that warning (cfgb) You have no character! (Hi Lee Derivative) and the ironic thing is that the handler of the character who i am based on is currently using my name in a twf chatroom (Hi Lee Derivative) and enjoying himelf a lot (Bryon) So wait, Al Gore handles somebody in the TWF? (Hi Lee Derivative) i might add (Hi Lee Derivative) because i invented enjoyment (Hi Lee Derivative) good lord kid (cfgb) Now I don't think that's the real Hi Lee. (Hi Lee Derivative) the funny thing is, who is the real hi lee (cfgb) The lack of capital letters should have thrown me off earlier. (Hi Lee Derivative) is the real hi lee the person hi lee was based on, which is who this is (Hi Lee Derivative) or is the real high lee the guy who writes his roleplays (Hi Lee Derivative) because (Hi Lee Derivative) i am Hi Lee Derivative is now known as Disco Stu. (Disco Stu) hoo ha (Ender) I know!!! You're Adam Young! (cfgb) Boy, you sure showed us... (Ender) ... *coughs* (Disco Stu) i invented showing (Bryon) Disco Stu doesn't advertise (Disco Stu) des invented placing (Ender) (Ender) (Ender) (Disco Stu) im just wasting time, wondering when bill will finish ripping his hair out and the btw card can get up (Ender) (Ender) (Ender) (Ender) (Ender) (Bryon) Bill sucks (Bryon) So does Jimmy (Ender) *Bows* (cfgb) There are a trillion other websites Guy... (Disco Stu) ? (Disco Stu) and des and i didnt beat the think tank because i was in charge (Bryon) You see, Jimmy is bowing to suck some more (cfgb) Yeah, it must have been legit. (Ender) That's right. *Bows in front of Byron* (Disco Stu) we beat them in october, i wasnt in charge until feb (cfgb) What's that? I STILL don't care? Whoa! (Disco Stu) and in between that time, i quit and went to the cwa (Disco Stu) because i was mad at todd (Disco Stu) so its not like it wasnt fair (Bryon) I was a former CWA World Champ! (cfgb) I'm sure it was fair... *cough* (Bryon) Big ups for me! (cfgb) Live was a rockin' champ! (cfgb) Nobody was more talked about... (Bryon) Well, except JF and Brian Allen (Bryon) And Dex (Bryon) And Kersh (Disco Stu) i liked live (WilliamJ) and Sweeny.... (Disco Stu) i mean, you have to forget the fact he was in fwf You have changed your name to Doctor Who. (Bryon) Of course (cfgb) It's YOU! I want to ride in your Tardis! (Bryon) Live sucks unless you forget his FWF days (Doctor Who) How in the bloody moons of Kalifrax do you know about my Tardis? (cfgb) I watch you through a magic screen... (JR) asta la vista (cfgb) I call it the television. (Disco Stu) no matter what my status is with the twf, it wont equal my status with the fwf (Bryon) You suck JR JR has left the chat room. (cfgb) Bye JR. Return when you graduate. (cfgb) Or don't read this message... (Disco Stu) where im basically on the banned for life list or something (Doctor Who) Oh... yes, I heard about that... you wouldn't beleive how much of a bother it's become having me on the tele... (cfgb) There's a list, and two people are on it. Don't flatter yourself. (Disco Stu) me and you? (Bryon) I'm not banned (Bryon) They'll always allow me back in because I'm a JTTS (Doctor Who) *Starts whistling his theme song* (WilliamJ) I think Im banned... but they havent noticed Im still around (Doctor Who) *Pulls out a yo-yo.* (cfgb) The list isn't important, they've been specifically informed who they are. (Disco Stu) aight (Bryon) Who all here has been an active participant in TWF, FWF, and BTW? (Disco Stu) at the same time (Disco Stu) or separately (Bryon) Only 2 out of 3 for me, but we're talkign ever (Disco Stu) ok (Bryon) 2 out of 3 at the same time I mean (cfgb) I've spent time in two of them. (cfgb) Not simultaneously. (Bryon) I was in TWF and FWF, and I was in BTW and FWF You have changed your name to JFB. (WilliamJ) I've been in all three.... simultaneously (cfgb) Hey JFB, do YOU have any money? (Bryon) When I say "active participant" then that doesn't qualify Chris's one match and out (JFB) No, but i'm borrowing money from DAD tommorow. (cfgb) I did some frisbee tossing last winter! (Disco Stu) ive been in btw for about 13 months, and twf for about a month and four days WilliamJ is now known as WJG3. (Bryon) Nope, doesn't count (Disco Stu) i havent been in the fwf You have changed your name to Ender. WJG3 is now known as Ender2. Bryon is now known as Ender3. (cfgb) I was scheduled for an Intercontinental or whatever the secondary FWF title was against Jimmy...but left. Ender2 is now known as Bizarro Ender. (Disco Stu) jimmy went to btw first, then he left and i dont remember why Ender3 is now known as Nega-Ender. (Disco Stu) just like i dont know why sean (jack bone) left btw and went to twf (cfgb) Heh, he had a darn good reason. (Ender) Yep... (Bizarro Ender) TWF was the fed to be in at that time.... (Nega-Ender) Because Chris is cuter than Matt (cfgb) "Why didn't you return our phone calls?" "I didn't want to!" Heel-Austin rules. (Bizarro Ender) If only that magic could be recaptured (Disco Stu) i figured it might have been because of moon (cfgb) I leave the conspiracy theories to everyone else. (Ender) Austin should turn heel again... but that wouldn't make any sense... so he should just go away. (Bizarro Ender) Good call Jimmy (Disco Stu) really, austins best years were spent with hair on his head (cfgb) Austin and JR should....walk out hand in hand, in love, go on a honeymoon and crash on the way to Hawaii. (Nega-Ender) Austin loves hair on his head (cfgb) Now THAT would be a show! (Bizarro Ender) WWF from Royal Rumble 2000 until his return was stellar.... then he had to come back and ruin it (Nega-Ender) Just not the head above his shoulders (Nega-Ender) So I must ask: Jimmy, do you have any facial hair? (Ender) No, not at all. (Nega-Ender) Then you're no good for Austin (Nega-Ender) He wants hair on his head! (Bizarro Ender) lol Bizarro Ender is now known as Will E Dangerously. (Ender) *ties back his hair* (Ender) I just thought I'd share that with you all. (Will E Dangerously) I need to tie my hair back, it's getting annoying (cfgb) *ties back hair....OWWW, that involved alot of pulling!* Nega-Ender is now known as Bryon. (Will E Dangerously) I wanna shave... but cant. My director wwants me to have a beard You have changed your name to Nega-Byron. Disco Stu is now known as Sausage Blender. (Nega-Byron) I like copying. Bryon is now known as Not Byron. Will E Dangerously is now known as Bizarro Bryon. (cfgb) I wanna shave...but I'm lazy. (Not Byron) I am NOT BYRON Not Byron is now known as Bryon. (Bizarro Bryon) lol that's part of it too Chris (Nega-Byron) Whatever you say Byron. Sausage Blender is now known as Six String Fender. You have changed your name to Ender. Bizarro Bryon is now known as WilliamJ. (Bryon) Ender is gay (Bryon) But Jimmy is straight (Ender) SHHHHHHHH!!! That was supposed to be our secret, Byron!!! (Bryon) He just gives blowjobs for RPs (WilliamJ) Ender used to have gaynal sex with Ryan The Giant (cfgb) OUCH! (cfgb) Bill knows how to shoot below the belt! (Bryon) Ender took it in the end (Ender) Naw, Ryan was too busy with Sue... (cfgb) James spent time with Ryan on Friday. (cfgb) At a bar. Six String Fender is now known as Disco Stu. (WilliamJ) Sorry, you and sue look alike (Ender) Ouch... (cfgb) Bill, you're being unbelievably cruel tonight. (WilliamJ) Am I? (Bryon) Bill looks like Leona, Darrel told me so (Disco Stu) prince charles was up on stage reading a speech to his mum (WilliamJ) Shit... Im just lookin forward to wrestling tomorrow (Ender) Yes, alas I did spend time with Ryan the Giant at a bar... I asked him about his demon stuff, and he told me a bit... (Ender) I forget what he said though... (Disco Stu) and i bet hes thinking to himself as he says it (Ender) Something about Baal I think... (Disco Stu) WHY DOESNT SHE DIE (WilliamJ) Hey Jimmy... I hurt my hand throwing too many chokeslams on thursday... can ya believe that shit? I have to wear it wrapped now to wrestle just to be safe (Ender) He thinks I'm his friend and so he tells me stuff. Oh, and he's only 4000 years old, not 5000. (Disco Stu) i invented safety (cfgb) So dad was RIGHT? Yikes! (Ender) Why were you throwing Chokeslams? You should be doing Tope Con Helo's. (cfgb) That's hilo dumbass. (WilliamJ) I also was kind enough to sell a chokeslam for someone who is about 6 inches shorter than me, and not half my weight (WilliamJ) I would if I was agile enough. They want me to be like Kane... only more mobile. (WilliamJ) Basically me and Darrel as a tag team is like Kane, and Viscera as a team. Only with personality, and stuff like that (Disco Stu) youre being redundant bill (Disco Stu) anyone is more mobile than kane (Disco Stu) everyone (Ender) Anyone AND everyone. (Ender) That's a lot of people. (Disco Stu) except yokozuna, but isnt he dead (Disco Stu) and the 6000 pound guy in the weekly world news (Ender) No, Yoko isn't dead. (WilliamJ) He isnt? (Ender) Nope! (Ender) It was all a lie! (Disco Stu) no, not yoko ono, shes alive (Bryon) I thought he was being redundant because Kane and Big Vis have personality (Ender) A big consperacy to hide him... until Vince brings him back. (Disco Stu) lennon takes like 6 bullets, yoko is right next to him, not one fricken bullet! (WilliamJ) Yeah Guy... that was funny 10 years ago when Denis Leary first said it (Disco Stu) i do admit i didnt invent that (Ender) Good!!! (Disco Stu) i was listening to my denis leary cd the other day (Ender) You and your stealing lines.. (Ender) SHAME! (Disco Stu) i was about to do the bon jovi joke next until bill caught me (WilliamJ) Ha! (Disco Stu) hey, you dont see me using stolen stuff in my roleplays (Ender) Yes, yes I do. (Disco Stu) ? (cfgb) Yes I do.... The Saturday Night Live sketch. (WilliamJ) I only steal really obscure stuff for my rps... stuff no one would be able topick out... (Disco Stu) what saturday night live sketch (Disco Stu) youre confusing me with dancing davy disco (Ender) Not at all!!! (Ender) You're just making up LIES to try and keep your name clear and pure! (Ender) Well I'm onto you!!! (cfgb) The McLauchlan Group. (Ender) And so is everyone else! (Disco Stu) ok, i stole the line about rodents having sex in california from lewis black (Disco Stu) i mocked the mclaughlin group (Disco Stu) i mocked des once too, is that stealing (Ender) Yes. (Bryon) Dancing Davy Disco (Bryon) Disco Stu (Bryon) What's the difference? (Disco Stu) i claimed to hold four different parking tickets at one time (Disco Stu) instead of four title belts (cfgb) I bet you stole them. (WilliamJ) You stole that from Mickey Rooney! (Disco Stu) ? Anonymous183 has joined the chat room. Anonymous183 has left the chat room. (Ender) Hi new person! Aw... bye new person... (Ender) I was hoping it was gonna be someone who didn't STEAL everything... (Bryon) I invented e-wrestling (Bryon) And I own the copyright (cfgb) I have pizza sauce and peanut butter in the cupboard, and 10 cents in the bank. This should be interesting. (Disco Stu) sorry, i was distracted for a sec, emma bunton was on vh1 (Disco Stu) prince william has no rhythm (Ender) Yeah, but he's still sexier than you. (Ender) How would I know? (Bryon) Because Ender is gay (Ender) Well let me tell you... I see you through your window at night! (cfgb) Because you're a gaysexual? (Ender) That must be it. I have this HOT DATE with a guy next weekend. (Bryon) Yeah, you're gay (Disco Stu) en fuego (cfgb) Is it Brooks? (Ender) *Laughs* (cfgb) Brooks and I are going to the bar if Game 6 is being played and you can come along. (Ender) Acually, I really do hhave a hot date next weekend... so I'll probably be out late. (Disco Stu) r to the e to the d to the w to the i to the n to the g to the s (cfgb) Remember when The Ultimate Warrior fought Goldust in a 15 minute match that involved Dustin stalling and getting counted out? (WilliamJ) Yeah (cfgb) That was slightly more interesting than Disco Stu. (Bryon) Remember when Deano Machino fought Kidman to a 2 minute match because he forgot he couldn't touch the floor? (Disco Stu) hes mad because my hockey team is kicking his hockey teams ass (cfgb) Or because you bore me - either or. (Disco Stu) cant please everyone (Ender) Or anyone. (cfgb) Yep, we know. "I QUIT BECAUSE YOU RAN MY ANGLE AS I ASKED YOU TO!" (Disco Stu) wait what (Disco Stu) i left twf because bill asked me to go back to btw (cfgb) That's not what your story was then. (Disco Stu) i dont remember what my story was then (cfgb) So you're a thief and a liar! (Disco Stu) seems to me like everything i asked you and gary to do was done (Ender) SHAME! (Disco Stu) the only thing i asked you to do was have me sitting in the crowd the one night (Disco Stu) if anything, des was messing around with my current btw angle (Ender) Then you should go find Des and kill him. (Disco Stu) he wants me vs. leonard to be a classic face/heel thing, where bill cant do anything dirty (cfgb) Bill's a dirty dog. Woof. (Disco Stu) but oh well, i came up with a new angle (Ender) And he'th thexy too... (Disco Stu) which is the one ive had in the back of my head for a month (Disco Stu) one hopefully brodie cant mess with too much (Disco Stu) his booking seemed pretty pre-1995 to me (cfgb) Then perhaps you best tell him. (Ender) Hey Disco, are you a sexy man? (Disco Stu) its strange (Disco Stu) we just dont tell him (Disco Stu) we channel our views through about two or three different suits ive never heard of (Disco Stu) via email, not even on the ooc (cfgb) Then he'll never learn. On another subject, how 'bout them Expos? (Ender) Hey Disco, why are you ignoring my question? Is it because you're not a sexy man? (Disco Stu) i was thinking of going up to see an expos game this summer (Disco Stu) i figured i could get some cheap seats and move down to the front row easy (Disco Stu) i ignored your question because it is irrelevant to the current discussion i am having (cfgb) Yet...you're irrelevant 100% of the time - and you're still discussing discussions! (Ender) Well I'm starting a new conversation. I thought your converstation with yourself was boring. (Ender) And I felt that conversing about wether you are a sexy man or not would be much more entertaining than the boring shit you're talking about, which no one cares about. (Ender) ... So, how about it babe? (Disco Stu) now whose having the conversation with himself (Ender) *Casts a big cheesy grin in your direction.* (cfgb) He was talking to you. (cfgb) You were talking to a wall. (Disco Stu) i am a wall (Ender) Is that why you have no friends? (Ender) Walls don't make many friends... (Disco Stu) how did you become an expert in the subject (cfgb) The Wall had no friends. (Ender) *Laughs* (Ender) Except for Hogan. (cfgb) Berlyn was close....but he turned on him. (Disco Stu) i said i was a wall (Disco Stu) not the wall (cfgb) For reasons I never found out. (cfgb) Oh wait, he hung out with Hugh Morrus. (WilliamJ) The Wall was hardcore! (Ender) Sergant A-Wall... brilliant@! (cfgb) I loved that night he lost a loser leaves town match to Lenny... (Disco Stu) i love how van hammer aka private stash had to become major stash (cfgb) And we saw Wall on the next show and we never saw Lenny again. (WilliamJ) Definately... his chokeslam was top notch... I need to watch him a bit more and pattern myself after him (Ender) Remember the time when The Wall was on the building threatening Hogan with the Chokeslam? Greatest moment in wrestling! My heart was racing! (WilliamJ) Mine too (cfgb) Remember when he beat Hogan by DQ? Awesome! (cfgb) That was at Spring Breakout 2000. (Ender) Yeah, that was the same night wasn't it? cfgb has left the chat room. (Disco Stu) you guys are like the morons in #wrestling on alternativenet (WilliamJ) Yeah it was Anonymous38 has joined the chat room. (Ender) Man, that was one hell of a night. (Disco Stu) marking out over these minor characters Anonymous38 is now known as cfgb. (cfgb) He kicked out of the legdrop. (WilliamJ) Didnt somebody end up in the water? (Ender) And The Wall was the mystery opponent for The Revolution againsed Kidman! (Ender) Man, I went nuts!!! (cfgb) Sting and Luger did. (WilliamJ) But it wasnt The Wall so I dont care (cfgb) That was the year at the ocean. (cfgb) That (cfgb) That's right! I forgot he was their mystery partner! (cfgb) And he was the only person who beat Kidman that night. (WilliamJ) Triple Threat Theatre babuy (Ender) Which is how it should be! (Ender) No one can stop The Wall! (cfgb) I bet Bryon has some Wall memories! (Ender) Why? 'Cause he's The Wall! (cfgb) Remember The Dog? (cfgb) He wasn't The Wall. (cfgb) But he was awesome! (WilliamJ) I didnt like The Dog... because he wasnt The Wall (Ender) Oh, The Dog! If there was one person who might have been able to stand up to The Wall, it was The Dog! Best Gimmick EVER! (Bryon) The Dog is gay (Ender) The Dog vs. The Cat ruled! (Bryon) I saw him sleeping with Ender (Disco Stu) does anyone else remember Bill Irwin, the Goon (cfgb) Remember when Al Green wasn't The Dog but got a push. He was like Tank Abboot with his one punch of doom! (cfgb) When I saw The Dog, I thought no one could stop him. Except The Wall. (Ender) I remember that!!! I was so happy that someone was being groomed to beat Tank! (WilliamJ) One Punch Guys Rock! Ronnie Garvin was the best one (Ender) I think The Wall could have beaten Tank in a street fight. (Ender) Did The Wall ever fight in The Block? (cfgb) What if Tank had a knife? (Bryon) What if Tank had stabbed Big Al? (WilliamJ) The Wall would chokeslam him... duh Disco Stu has left the chat room. (Ender) YAY! (cfgb) It works. (Bryon) BING! (Ender) Enough about that... (Bryon) I'm bored.......................................................................................... (Ender) So... I hate The Wall... (WilliamJ) Wahoo! (cfgb) I also hate The Wall. (Bryon) Wahoo McDaniel's dead (Bryon) The Wall is gay (cfgb) I like Wahoo. (Ender) So he is. (WilliamJ) The Wall wasnt superb (cfgb) His chops were awesome. (cfgb) In an old man kind of way. (Bryon) Wall had a hell of a chop too (Bryon) Too bad it was a pork chop (Ender) Heh... (cfgb) It was a great chop. (cfgb) I shared some. (cfgb) Oh...THIS cage match. Hardys vs. Dudleys. I hate this match. (Bryon) Why is it that sometimes the dumbest of jokes can make me laugh? I think I'm too sensitive to humor, no matter how weak it may be (WilliamJ) Why? (Ender) I don't like Jeff... (cfgb) Jeff Hardy could have won and he dove back in... That was retarded. (Bryon) Because the Dudleyz couldn't....GET THE TABLES!!! (Bryon) Oh yeah, I remember that (Bryon) I also remember the cage match with Edge and Christian where he jumped off the top and missed by about 3 miles. (cfgb) They did a few cage matches. (Bryon) Well then I remember the few times he did that (Ender) Hey Chris, have I ever totally blown a high-spot on any EBYC shows? (WilliamJ) I dont do highspots.... I'll take them from someone... but I dont do them myself (Except my top rope lariat... I should say) Anonymous69 has joined the chat room. (Ender) The closest high spot I think I came to blowing was my Moonsault on Brooks when my knees came down on his chest... (cfgb) I don't remember. (Ender) OH!!! (cfgb) You hurt J.W. once. (Ender) The one where Brooks didn't move! Anonymous69 is now known as JF. (WilliamJ) Gary! (JF) Howdy. (Ender) The one on J.W. wasn't a high spot... (cfgb) That is NOT Guy. (Bryon) Gary! (JF) Hi Lee my ass. (cfgb) For the record, JF did NOT invent the number 3. (Bryon) He didn't? (WilliamJ) Itd be cooler if he did (Bryon) Well then why the hell haven't I been using it? (JF) The number three was a farce. I invented the six pack. (cfgb) The booze or the stomach? (JF) Both. I am blessed. (cfgb) That's a feat in itself! (JF) I found VooDoo for the first time in a month....ah.... (WilliamJ) Wow (JF) But Robb decided to sleep in and had to work. Dumbass.... (cfgb) Work blows. (Bryon) Funny, you found Voodoo, I found Jesus. No, I'm not a born-again,b ut I still found the guy. According to Carlin I think he was hiding behind a work bench. (JF) Bryon....I still have to send you your money. (Bryon) Yes you do (Bryon) I noticed this when I hadn't received it yet (WilliamJ) Bryon took the money? (Bryon) damn right, I'm broke (JF) Sorry about that....I over shot my funds...it'll be on it's way in a few days. (cfgb) Bill - I'll never send your tapes! (Bryon) I owe (JF) Ohio eh? (cfgb) Don figured it was the most central. (Bryon) Apparently, and I feel I can make it to Ohio, but Tennessee is pushing it (WilliamJ) I dunno if I can make it to Ohio (Bryon) Also, Paul says he can make Ohio so that'll be a nice plus (cfgb) Which means Bill's entertaining! (cfgb) Tell Leona to put out the cold cuts. (JF) If it's late July I can swing it. (Bryon) I'm bringing my own sandwiches. I don't trust Bill's hostessing capabilities (cfgb) And tell Darrel not to eat them. (JF) We packed our own last time....because we poisoned the ones for Darrel (WilliamJ) Good call (cfgb) Darrel's a booze hound. (cfgb) I saw him with a beer in his hand. (WilliamJ) Me too... (Bryon) And a wine cooler between his toes. (cfgb) Bill tells me about his excessive drinking. (JF) He almost drank a full one. (Bryon) The guy's quadri-dextrous (JF) With all of you going plus Dave.....that's tempting..... (WilliamJ) Darrel keeps telling me he wants to get drunk (JF) He'll have to actually try harder next time then. (cfgb) For real? I'll phone him later and tell him not to give in to peer pressure! (Bryon) If I show, I won't be drinking with you guys. You scare me (cfgb) That or I'll host a kegger and invite him. (Bryon) There's no telling what would happen (cfgb) James, you want to come with? (Ender) Drinking is BAD! (cfgb) Busses are probably cheaper for two people. (Ender) Sure, I'll come with if I have money and free time. (cfgb) We'll bunk with Bill and make smores. (JF) Well we will be drinking....on the way there, during and after if history holds true.... (Bryon) Besides, as I said before I've never drank in my life. (WilliamJ) That's what I hope (JF) You're missing out. The great social equalizer..... (Ender) When is it? (Bryon) I absorb all beverages through my skin (cfgb) Either I bring booze with me - or someone will have to buy it for me. Damn American laws. (Bryon) I don't drink (JF) Osmosis? (Bryon) Only water (Bryon) I only osmose water that is (JF) Oh. We'll bring at least a case of VooDoo with us. (Bryon) I diffuse Coca-Cola though (cfgb) We're gettin' Don hammered! (WilliamJ) Good... I've never had Voodoo (Bryon) Then there was the time I main-lined a Sprite. Bad times. (JF) Heh. I'll but him some Hawk chew. (JF) At least it had no caffeine. (Bryon) I still thought I was Chris for an hour and a half (cfgb) And while we're at it - we'll get Crystal loaded.... She can be my company for the night. (WilliamJ) lol (Bryon) I kept copying tapes of wrestling events and selling them over eBay (JF) I don't know...I met Crystal..... (Bryon) Chris feels like robbing the cradle babee! (cfgb) I'm not overly picky. I'll never have to see her again. (Bryon) Or is she open season yet? (cfgb) I THINK she's 16 or 17... (Bryon) Yeah, that's what I thought (cfgb) I met her when she was 13...making her....16 I guess. 17 in the fall. (Bryon) Uh-oh (Bryon) That might be too close for Chris (JF) Her and Jeanne are quite a thing. (Bryon) I bet (WilliamJ) Quite a thing like I read about a Literotica.com? (cfgb) Maybe I'll work on Jeanne then.. (Bryon) And what exactly are you doing while reading there William? (WilliamJ) Writing up critiques of course (JF) She'll put you through a toilet. (cfgb) Crystal it is! (Bryon) You sicko. Who would critique pornographic literature? (cfgb) She liked your feet. (Bryon) Chris'll show you what you're supposed to do with that stuff (Bryon) Chris, show him! (cfgb) Chris will tell him with a cable modem, you don't waste time with words.... (Ender) I once stumbled upon this page where people would send in fanfics about Jeff Hardy. It was rather disturbing. (Bryon) Somebody play the NWO theme song to get him in the mood (JF) How can you critique it? With one hand tied behind your....oh wait... (WilliamJ) Of course (Bryon) I've read many FICTIONS of Jeff Hardy sacking a few ladies. (JF) "I found the literature lacking...as did my penis. Something amiss. I rather would like to find an empty fence post and...." (Bryon) You quoted Bill's last critique (WilliamJ) Wow (JF) I'm pre-cognizant that way. (Bryon) Which story was that? The one he did about the shemales in outerspace? (JF) Who wants to hear about episode two.... (WilliamJ) No No No... I liked Shemales In Outerspace |
| Contributor: Gary
Holmes (Comment from Chris: What is all this? Well, basically, this is a document involving the tantrums certain people would throw when matches don't go their way....an e-fedding tradition!) Connecting to chat server... Connected and signed in. You have joined the chat room as Anonymous42. Members of room: Anonymous42 Havok Tow DC . (Tow) At least your partner didn't hit you with an elephant.. (Tow) wtf does that mean anyhow? (Havok) I didn't read the rest of the card (Havok) I was pissed at that decision (DC) you want to know why gary/robb did that' (Tow) I knew I lost didn't really care. Tow has left the chat room. Anonymous23 has joined the chat room. Anonymous23 is now known as Tow. (Tow) crappola (DC) they judge on a lower point scale on rps that are submitted close to the deadline (Havok) yeah but I explained my situation (DC) still, it is unfair to your opponent (Havok) If they can't take that into account this once then that's a bit off (DC) well did anyone notice my match wanst on the carD? (Havok) It's not my fault I got slaughtered at work (Tow) You had a match? (DC) true (Havok) and anyway if I remember right...didn't you do the same? (DC) lane vs hbm for the tennessee title (DC) i did (DC) and i lost as well (Tow) Anyhow this is just so exciting I am going to drink myself into oblivion once more. (Tow) cya all later. (Anonymous42) BYE! (Havok) yeah well this is making me wonder why I bothered to come back (Havok) later Havok has left the chat room. Anonymous8418 has joined the chat room. Anonymous8418 has left the chat room. Anonymous4592 has joined the chat room. Tow has left the chat room. (DC) who is all in here now? You have changed your name to Chris F-B. (Chris F-B) Damn whiners. SKIP AHEAD... (Special Guest) It looks like you won to me, Bill (Big Money) Stop calling me Benji. (Big Money) :) (OutKast) the wife thing was ERV as Unknown (Big Money) Later guys. Big Money has left the chat room. (Special Guest) And what happened, Outkast? (Chris F-B) Gary's gonna explain what happened in the main event. (Bill E Dangerously) I hope... because Im confused (Special Guest) Goddamnit... Special Guest is now known as Des. (OutKast) ummm, Unknown basically unmasked (OutKast) sup DES!? (Bill E Dangerously) BRODIE!!!! (Bill E Dangerously) Fuckin A Brod-Dogg... (Des) That's right, and I'm pissed Anonymous3238 has joined the chat room. (Chris F-B) I figured you would be. (OutKast) about what? Anonymous3238 is now known as Jim Tow. (OutKast) fill me in (Des) First off, why didn't Dex play up this week the Thomas Lane aspect of the angle? (Chris F-B) Des - just don't say anything until Gary gets a chance to talk. (OutKast) welcome back... you are back, right Brodie? (Bill E Dangerously) Why are you pissed Des? (Chris F-B) Wait until there's an explination. (Des) The whole point of MY part of the angle was that Des had apparently turned (Des) and decided to let Dex have the TWF. Thomas Lane was "taking care" of Dex, remember? (Des) Lane helped Dex win his match against Jason Holmes? (Bill E Dangerously) Im confused.... (Des) But, I see here in the very last RP Dex did that he was making fun of the Des character (OutKast) me too (Des) They were supposed to play up the whole aspect of Des being behind the scenes (Des) setting it up for Paul Leonard to LOSE (OutKast) why is Bubs "suspended"? (Des) only for the swerve which happened (Des) Bubs was suspended for his part in the conspiracy to cheat Dex outta the title (Des) Of course, De says under his breath that its a suspension with pay (OutKast) i see. brodie, will you answer your email? like if i send you some stuff (Des) Because Bubs is actually on vacation (Des) Sure, McKee, send me some letters! (OutKast) okay, ill fill you in on my storyline (Des) (Honeymoon, actually, but that's revealed later) (OutKast) i gotta go... been fun (Bill E Dangerously) Have a good one Kast (Des) I thought it was clear that Des had seemed to be in collusion with Dex (OutKast) chris, i might message you later OutKast has left the chat room. (Des) night Kast (Jim Tow) good to see you back des (Des) thanks Jim tow (Bill E Dangerously) Im dumb... so I may not have seen that (MiInc.) Nice PPV..very nice. (Des) And, of course, it turns out that Sandusky and Lane were really setting up Dex to fall (Des) But, now, with this twist added on at the end, it throws a wrench into the whole thing (MiInc.) I like it.. (MiInc.) Not that I matter. (Des) I guess I'm just upset (not at anyone) that this angle I've been cooking up (Des) for a few months and had set up to execute while I was away for the last few weeks (Des) seems to have bombed (Bill E Dangerously) I just wish it wasn't a no contest.... (Des) Bill, you see what I was going for, right? (Bill E Dangerously) I think so (Des) Remember, a few weeks ago, Des talks to Lane in the limo? (Bill E Dangerously) Yeha (MiInc.) Who is Des? (MiInc.) lol (Bill E Dangerously) yeah I mean (Des) Tells him to "take care" of Dex? Of course, we think Lane is going to take out Dex (Bill E Dangerously) Yeah (Des) But, he helps Dex beat Jason Holmes. Then, he is set up to help Dex in the match against Leonard (Des) Of course, it was a super swerve (like Tyson and Austin at WM 14 vs. Michaels) (Bill E Dangerously) Yeah (MiInc.) Like I said..I liked it (Chris F-B) However, you booked it so your finish was all that COULD happen. (Des) Thank you Milnc (Chris F-B) You didn't take into account that Dave might win. (Jim Tow) little confusing for me (Des) Chris, I was told that Leonard was set to win (Chris F-B) When were you told? (Des) Long time ago (Chris F-B) There's been alot of RPing since then. (MiInc.) Who is Des? (Des) Dex is busy running the FWF, he wasn't going to stick around (Des) I'm nobody important (Chris F-B) However - Gary wanted a title change based on roleplaying. (Des) Dex approved this finish MONTHS ago (Chris F-B) And Gary told him no. Dex told me earlier. (Des) I thought Dex was a transitional champion. It went from haggar to dex in one night (Bill E Dangerously) It shoulda been a title change based on rping... (Des) Now, I'm set up to look like the asshole (Des) Who skewed the finish, when I was under the impression that was my jpb (Des) Bill earned this title run, and Dex really didn't thnk he was going to get (Des) to stick around and make enough effort to carry the tile for long (Des) So, fine, here's what we do..... (Des) Des is fired as Commish (my idea weeks ago) (MiInc.) I dont see what the big deal is..what if there is a little controversy? doesnt it just add to head and give you more to RP on and for? Its what fedding is all about.. (Des) Bubs is suspended indefinitely (no problem) (MiInc.) nothing is perfect.. (Des) And you guys can do whatever you want with the title (Des) I was just doing my job Des has left the chat room. (MiInc.) i feel like i shouldnt be here.. (MiInc.) lol (Chris F-B) It's alright... (Chris F-B) This happens to at least one person every major show. (Bill E Dangerously) I feel like I shouldn't be here too (MiInc.) let me ask again.. (MiInc.) Who is Des? (Jim Tow) Personally I have to agree with bill based on rp's I think he won anyhow. (Chris F-B) A guy who writes angles. |
| Contributor: Gord Perry Okay here is my addition to the TWF Story section I can think back and remember being in a fed that I cannot remember the name for the life of me and many of the handler from there were jumping ship to a small upstart fed named the TWF . the fed we were in was run by Clark Dargie ? I think that was his name .. anyhow .. the TWF had everything I could have wanted , a fed head who listened to what you say .. guys in it who wanted competition and a friendly atmosphere .. ahh the good old days … and that to be replaced by what we know now as the realm of bitching , pissing and moaning about everything from the way the site looks to who you have to fight and the best one .. aw come on I should have won that one .. why .. well because I am me thats why ! Nothing against the handlers who do this but come on .. what the fuck are you thinking certainly not fun . whats that word .. fun ?? What does that mean .. for a lot it means winning by any means possible including bitching and griping .. forget angles and such .. win at all costs … if this were a business like the WWE bitching like that would get you fired .. but in the spirit of "Fun" we put up with it. From there the rest is history , TCWF , CWA TWF rebirth … and all that … thinking back on it from there the handlers were so young and new .. fresh .. THAT was the magic … no one questioned the fed heads decision win lose or draw you went on and played the game .. that is where a lot of guys lost perspective I think .. GAME .. no wars were won by winning a match or lost , but many went on to become "too good" to lose .. egos got in the way and guys began to question the hows and whys of the game .. and I was no different .. I remember one time even questioning Don himself about something that had happened and he promptly told me how it was lol .. thank you Don for doing that for me it put the fun back in it for me and gave me perspective. We all sit back and forget sometime that it is a game and we forget in all the competition that it is a game and we all get our backs up over a loss or two , hey that's the way it goes you win you lose we go on .. I can remember back in the TCWF having the overall top points score for the month and not even coming out with a decisive win over anyone .. I never even won a single title during the TCWF time but it was one of the best times I have had … I can remember one of the best contest I had Barry Savage faced off against Johnny Carteris for the TV Title , Carteris was undefeated at this point and I had him beat .. I had officially won the TV Title but for the sake of angles and such I asked Don to end the match with Savage leaving Carteris in a pool of his own blood and walking away .. it was a great contest between Will and myself I loved it and I walked away with nothing .. EXCEPT a flowing story line .. imagine that .. storyline .. that's one hell of a word .. The TWF has always been good to me despite my disagreements with Brian Black .. sorry buddy lol .. I have met many people in my time efedding that I can call friends despite never actually meeting them too many to list unfortunately .. Despite the sudden resurgence of efedding in the DCW , efedding is dead .. with nothing except WWE available to the general populace efedding is reduced to a cult level where the handlers are motivated by local indy federations .. which is fine but the general group may not see where your inspiration comes from , and that can hurt the push if the fed head does not understand where your coming from and maybe even make it harder to have your opponents understand where your coming from , which is part of the fun .. what good is it when an opponents has no idea where your coming from .. not a lot of fun unless your in it for just the win. During me time as fed head my major problems came from guys just not being able to cope with a loss .. mainly a man just up and disappeared after a loss they did not feel they should have had .. and most of them have never even run a fed before and those that have could not even keep it going for more than a few weeks at bet before closing it down. Day in and day out running a fed is one of the most thankless experiences anyone person can have … not everyone can be made happy .. and the fed head has to try and accommodate everyone not to mention keeping all the info up to date , cards out on time .. heaven forbid personal life get in the way there is always one who complains that the results are never out on time. GAME comes to mind again .. A lot of people gage their success on how many titles they won in their efedding careers .. if we do that then my carrer as an efedder is mediocre at best …. I won several midcard titles but only one BIG title .. and that was in a fed where there was little competition .. sorry can't remember what the name of the fed was .. WWA I think .. anyhow .. I have had as many loses as I have had wins and I consider my edding career a successful one as I have had tons of fun .. made several friends and I enjoyed every minute of it with hat said … I am not going to go out on a sour note , running an efed out of a misplaced sense or loyalty is something that I would not wish on anyone , many thanks to a lot of people .. Brian Black .. brother that's for the adversity lol .. seriously .. time of my life buddy . regets that I took it so seriously at that time. Bob Snapp for being my first real and only feud with Ric Justus and Barry Savage , you rock .. Savage Justus part 412 coming to a school gym near you .. lol Perkdaddy - whos your daddy ! You're the king pal .. Jim Moloney - hope I spelled it right this time .. again class act all the way great guy hang tough buddy CFB - one of the most blunt and truthful people you will ever meet .. my kind of man we all should be more like him . Don Jones - what else can be said about him that has not been already said .. one of a kind DJ. Mickey - Not many could stand you for an great length of time … but one of the few who ALWAYS had ideas to submit even if I could not use them lol These are only a few guys the list is way tooo long to go on .. so on that note I bid for a fond farwell … for efedding is dying and my time is limited at best efedding was the best time I had in a long time ..but The King is dead … long live he King , stay in touch everyone keep it real .. God Bless. |
| Contributor: Gary Holmes So where'd I leave off? I don't care. Robb and I always had a tenuous relationship when it came to getting rps in on time. Robb had a life, I didn't. It's really that simple. So oft times I'd go it alone and rp for the team. Sometimes, I'd even fudge the ip addy and rp FOR Robb and AS Robb, unbeknownst to anyone until now. I think in my entire "career", I only ran two successful angles. One was a collaboration between Dave, myself and Chris with our target being LB3, or Paul. It was supposed to be a one night championship tournament for a life long title, that of the "work rate champion". A few guys joined, many didn't, so we invented feds with luminaries such as the enigmatic "The One Rock Cold Triple Steve" who, of course, had triple Steve powers, Tangent and Rugged CD Carroll. I think we invented DesCo Stu for this as well, I can't recall. LB3 was the only person who legitimately rped for it, so naturally he won. It culminated in his title being "The dumbest man in sports entertainment" and marked the return of JackylFan to singles competition. Rping as Rock Cold from a fed that didn't exist struck a fancy with me. I revisited it later. I started getting bored. Alice actually rped for me one week taking on the Wakkos herself. I made one week a silent week for JF and still came out on top, so to speak. We had gone to the Tennessee reunion to meet Don and family, plus Darrel showed up too. Darrel was to be JF's next big opponent/punching bag, again, so I plotted. Previously, on "why are you still reading this", I touched on my hating angles. Well, Darrel and I once tried an angle based on the chat room and it never took off. He was "stalking" me and complimenting me everywhere, and I was cold toward him. Then I started complaining that he was calling my work, at a radio station, when I wasn't there. This all came to a head when...the fed collapsed. No payoff, no continuation...nothing. I hate angles. Anyway, so we took some pics while there, and I had them hosted on a friend's server. During my week of silence, Bryon used one of the pics in a role play...from my friend's server. Now, had he hosted it himself or asked me the day he posted it, that would have been okay. But I wanted to play around, so I changed the pic to something with screws loose and the words "Never let a Wakko Breed." It was called "Low" later by Bryon. Heh. That leads me to this: Bryon never outscored me. Why? Because I'm so good? Because I stay one step ahead of everyone? Because my hubris is insurmountable? Nope. Because he held back. I'm sure of it. Bryon had me dead to rights quite a few times, and never closed in for the kill. Whether that's because of a lack of killer instinct or not, that's the real reason he never outscored me. He never wanted to. Points system. I loved it, but it was too easy to flood the board, as with what happened with Can Pat. I had a blast using e-mail, ConHugeCo and other things to rp instead of standard rps, but all things come to an end. *sniff* Livejournal. Alice had a Diaryland journal and went over to livejournal, I was intrigued. I saw the potential to use it as role play to chronicle the goings on behind things, so to speak. It was also a proving ground for rps, like the week I did all my rps about what I found in my pants. It scored two "Bingos." Clearly I was doing something wrong.:) So, I decided to kill off JF using Facinorous and LB3. I used LJ to keep some records in check as well. But the truth is...if you were a name at all in this game I had files on you. Logged chats, e-mail, stats, personal facts...I kept tabs on everyone. They are buried under a couple of stupid free-ware key coded folders that I long ago forgot the password to, but I still have them. I googled you guys almost every day to see what you were up to.:) That's how I went to war with an entire fed over an "anonymous" comment about HBM left on the long defunct BTW board. The el jay thing seemed to intrigue some people, bore others, but I thought it was an interesting "angle" that was self-sufficient and sustaining, with a peculiar eye for going out alone. I guess. Anyway, so I killed off JF and immediately thought about bringing him back with the use of Hi Lee Derivative. My joke and reward for Disco Stu and company getting the BTW tag titles despite half the team not roleplaying. Disco and by extension, Guy, were never as good as they thought they were and I think he rode his entire career off of one witty rp he had that no one remembers now. If Chris ever posts that chat log...funny stuff. Hi Lee finally gave way to the most outlandish thing I've ever done in E-wrestling...drinking VooDoo spatially displaced Hi Lee in lieu of JF inhabiting it. Basically, I ripped off the Hulk and Popeye. I'm sooooooo creative, huh? That rounds out my tenure as a role playing guy, since it was never the same after I killed off JF. Vito was always my stoic, serious guy and although he and Sigmund Chaltry won the tag titles, it just wasn't the same without Robb and the lil bastard JF around. An aside, once upon a time, I wanted to drop a title to Void, who was really Robb in disguise. Unfortunately, Robb didn't rp as much as he should have, and we got CCC instead. Not only that, but since I backed off to drop the title, CCC booked this whole being injured and being hauled away on an ambulance before rushing the ring and kicking my ass to win. I was gone for part of the match thing. He came in at the end and beat us, which made me furious. So the next we met, I destroyed him and he was booted out of the TWF. Sorry Matt, you just were never quite as good as you thought. Neither was MOX, to tell the truth. You can only ride Kevin Smith's nuts so long before I bash my head into something solid until the colors take the pain away. His treatment of HBM during one angle was so repulsive, so vile that I immediately made a bee-line for him next card. He dropped out before we could meet. Pity, really. No offense to the guy behind the character, but that was some horrible stuff. So, moving laterally and backward, my go at being a fed head with the TWF in its different incarnations. First order of business every time was to run off the Stink Mob/Dave B. No offense to the guy, but his characters always bothered me. Most of JF's work was already a parody of some sort, so to make a parody of a parody made no sense. And even if Jim Shorts on Sports, the perennial announcer for the Tank, would address the nameless boob that "narrated" the Mob's rps, he'd harp about JF and HST trying to take on their disembodied announcer guy. In fact, the style used by many of the FWF peeps, that of the narrator dissing the opponent, is a misnomer. It's not narration, it's direct discussion. If it was narration, there would only be details. "Punish-domi-mensa-nator, you totally suck and here's why" is NOT narration. I got into a war over that at the Last Man Standing I was judging, whilst Racky Wreenkle raped the desiccated corpse of Rocky Rodriguez via blow up doll. It really wasn't an effort on my part to drive Dave B away, it just happened. Second order of business was to shake things up as much as possible. Bring in guys like Dave Dexter, HBM, Hi Lee Derivative and more. Take titles off of guys and hold them over the fed. Have guys like HST Gonzo, Live, Void, and HIM (all of two guys behind them) break out and go for singles titles. Oh yeah, although he doesn't remember it, Chaos and I did have a match. He disappeared right before it and I won by default, damnit. So then came the disaster...me running the fed. Mike Haggar "complained" that he had no competition, and for some reason that inspired me to find someone out there to come in on a "mystery" angle. I contacted Dave Dexter, and the rest is history...oh wait, I'm here to chronicle said history. Um, he came in, won, and I begged him to stay a while. All the while, Steve felt a bit put off by what I did and left. My biggest e-wrestling regret in a nut shell. There was an angle where Dave was supposed to lose the title to Bill one night. However, when I was scoring the rps, Dave won. I struggled with this one, because the Tennessee tradition was clear; rps made the match, not angles. I asked around a bit, everyone had an opinion, but they all said to do what I felt was right. What I felt was right, and still do, was that Dave retained. It caused mass hysteria. Rinse, repeat until the end of my tenure, actually. I guess I'll do a wrap up report at some point...still some things trapped in me head that can't find a way out at the moment... |